Tuesday, September 19, 2023

TACO TUESDAY:...Cumbia Inferno...On The Border, By The Sí...

 


By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

BROWNSVILLE, Texas | Every big city and every little town has a guy like Erasmo Castro, that annoying-yet-on-it local critic quick to bless and quicker to blame. He's here, he's there, he's everywhere. Last week, the podcaster extraordinaire with the tripa taco-eating grin was in Mexico City and in Cabo San Lucas, jewel of the Baja.

What exactly he was doing there we do not know, although we did catch portions of his dizzying, down-to-the-colon podcasts from both lovely locations. Invariably, Rassmo tells you where he is but quickly segues into whatever local action/inaction he wishes to spotlight. He's host and second banana most of the time, but every now and then he has an actual guest, the last one we saw was proverbial boring gadfly Roman "Who?" Perez.

Castro's podcast often duels with the city's other one, the soon-to-be-a-minor-motion-picture offering by one Capt. Bob Sanchez, the set usually his popular restaurant on the city's fish-smelling side. Where Castro emotes somewhat intelligently about crazy political doings in town, El Capitan will merely smile into his camera and poke at his show's guest for something interesting. I've yet to catch a CBS podcast and come away believing I learned something. It's very much like watching fog roll in.

Usually I end up sending Sanchez messages such as that he has now perfected the Mexican accent and that, no lie, he would look a lot like rocker Ozzie Osbourne if only he wore a Beatle wig. The Captain merely smiles that smile we last saw on Captain Kangaroo and the wrestler Haystack Calhoun.

We say Erasmo Castro should go all out and blow El Capitan out of the stinking resaca water. With heady topics and important people as guests, we mean. Or with a pretty dame as co-host...

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The lad is young and maybe that's what it's all about for him. But new Brownsville City Commissioner Bryan Martinez is an elected official now. Dressing like a slob at a public function may be a Border Vato thing, but he does his district, poor La Southmost, no favors with that cheap-ass, high school shorts & polo look.

Buck up, son. Be the man!

They're saying he takes after his mentor and former boss, City Commissioner Roy De Los Santos, a chubby cat who favors flip flops and loose-fitting, wrinkled, just-out-of-the-dryer slacks. Sadly, it is the look of the moment for these two.

True that neither of these amateurs would look all that great in a suit & tie, but fashion give-ups is the last thing locals need at City Hall. You want to tackle the shitty conditions of city parks, well, shorts and flip-flops would be okay.

But if you're working on resolving once & for all that humiliating Tenaska deal, well, who'll take you seriously?

Young Bryan Martinez still has time to grow into the job, yes.

And maybe even slide into a nice pair of new dress slacks and a button-down shirt. No tie needed; he's a Mexican and Mexicans were not born for suits & ties. Fact.

Yeah, sure, a sit-down chat with fashionista Juan "Trey" Mendez is in order for this lad...

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Where did she go? Is she still in town? Boy, it wasn't all that long ago that honeyed City Commissioner Jessica Tetreau was all over Brownsville. So, she lost the race for mayor. So what? Stick around. You've been part of the pictorial landscape for - how long? - years.

Leggy Tetreau may be plotting a return (we've heard nothing) to local politics. Who knows? Do you?

The dude forever on her tail - Pro-Mexicans Blogger Juan Montoya - has written nothing about her since the election. He's hung up on posting cartoons, so maybe her defeat hit him hard, as well. Who knows? Do you?

Anyway, we do hope she makes a Hollywood-like re-entry into the local political scene.

That gal. She was always all-dolled-up with everywhere to go.

Go for it, we'd say to her. Brownsville women need to see that they can dress-up if they want to, do it on maxed-out credit cards. We know, we know. That we spotlight the very-married Mrs. Tetreau as a role model for drab, Walmart-attired local women is yet another of our cheap indictments lobbed at the City On The Border, By The Gulf.

Hey, the attractive are very different...

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Another blast-from-the-past. This would be one Nurith Picasso Galonsky. Okay, not Picasso but Pizana. Lighten-up! I get tired of all the Mexican names around here. Boston and New York were never like this. An occasional Italian or Polish name would help, but what are the chances?

Miss Galonsky lost her city commission seat to shorts-and-ha-ha-teenager Bryan Martinez in the last election and seemed to fade into one of those uncollected Southmost garbage heaps. Well, no, she just went home, is what one of our local friends told us the other day.

Would Nurith make her own comeback?

We always believed she was wasting her time and talent serving the poverty-stricken residents of that particular district. Mayor would be her station, we recall writing a few beers ago. But she has her own brain, so she will run for whatever post grabs her, maybe even on the beer-fueled advice of some local feller.

Not that we have any inside info that she's contemplating a return.

No, Nurith is gone. Out of sight and perhaps even out of mind for many of this under-achieving town quick to turn out 500 voters and put some uncharismatic dude in as mayor. The day will come when a smart and articulate woman will bowl over this town of some 200,000 do-nothing-always-bitching residents and then - and only then - will the circle of fatalistic defeat be broken.

Gee, ese. I thought Nurith might have been it back when she first won her city commission seat a bit over four years ago.

How wrong I was...

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So, what's shakin' at the little college atop that two-foot hill on the southside of town? Anything interesting happenin' at Texas Southmost College? What's that you say - a controversy involving its much-ballyhooed welding program?

Ho hum.

Boring. Mini, teenie-weenie Junior College scandal! Ha ha ha

But it's keeping some people up all night, writing about it as if some Hunter Biden scandal of astral proportions. That's the school's president and the unofficial face of the TSC Board of Trustees in the photo above. The gent is Dr. Jesus Rodriguez and the woman in the leopard (not Scorpion) dress is the lovely Adela Garza.

They are being spit-roasted daily after someone complained that the welding program certificates the college was doling out did not quite satisfy the requirements of something called the American Welding Society, not to be confused with American Cancer Society, an actual helpful outfit.

We've sort of stayed up with the controversy from afar and have yet to see any of the social media wonders chasing the story contact either TSC Pres Rodriguez or Miss Garza for comment. Yeah, I know. Maybe today, or tomorrow.

It used to be easier to pick up the phone in the era of landlines...

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One of the city's ever-inquisitive-never-correct bloggers this past weekend wondered if perhaps Port of Brownsville Commissioner Ralph Cowen might be too old to serve at age 81. Who knows? It's not like we as yet have an Age Police cruising the city, so Cowen is not going anywhere unless he wants to. Well, him or his God, yes.

I recall an afternoon like 10 years ago, when I visited Brownsville and hung around with Ralph and my then-darling Melissa Zamora and Rey Guevara-Vasquez and Blogger Juan Montoya at the 1-2-3 Lounge on 14th Street.

Ralph was a hoot on that day. His jokes bounced off the cheap bar's cheaper walls as if cannonballs last heard on Mexico's Independence Day. He was, as they say these days, en fuego. I recall we all chipped in for a fajitas botana and Montoya went out to go get it.

What a time it was.

And, yes, it's sad to hear some people laying the age thing on ever-genial Ralph...

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The city is dropping an intial $20 million to restore the old El Jardin Hotel. Some say the name comes from a Spanish variation of the Biblical Garden of Eden. Quien sobby? It's true that downtown needs something new - anything! - to again feel as if it has plunged into the 1990s. Lord knows it looks down and out, more like East L.A. than McAllen.

It's a grand plan.

Affordable housing is the motivation, and what Las Prietas fool will argue against that? The city has a large population in need of cheap rentals. And downtown is full of vacant, abandoned buildings, so the idea is a winner. For sure. We read where the city's Housing Authority has a waiting list of some 10,000 families waiting for the telephone call.

That's wild! Like a packed house over at Sams stadium on a night the Seguin Matadors come to town to chase Brownsville High's QB Desi Najera into the turf?

Where are these 10,000 families living now? In Brownsville, or in neighboring Matamoros?

There has been little - if any - info on how many units will be carved into the new & re-painted El Jardin, and just what the price range in rentals will be. Something about businesses on the ground floor, but no restaurant on the top floor.

We're in complete favor of this project, as we believe it will show Brownsville that progress can actually be accomplished...

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Yeah, eat it. It's Taco Tuesday and tacos it is for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It don't get no better'n this. Mess with your three on your plate. Drop some salt & pepper on each one, some salsa. Reach for it with your hand and clamp those itchy fingers over the first one.

Lift it slowly to your mouth and initiate a nice, tasty chomp.

Hey, maybe rough-around-the-edges TSC will offer a two-tortilla taco eating class. You know, get the American Taco Society to accredit the program? Yeah. Have Miss Adela Garza, a good Republican, become the face of that wildly-successful, todas-las-thin-and-gordas student initiative. Oh, Hell yeah!

By the way, do send us a note via our comments feature if you would like to be, well, featured in our Taco Tuesday weekly offering.

There is no charge, no...

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Monday, September 18, 2023

DEPARTMENT OF CASH DONATIONS:... Co. Judge Trevino Says, "Hold On."...

 


By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

BROWNSVILLE, Texas | There was one of those always intriguing continuations of the slam jobs on Cameron County Judge Eddie Trevino the other day on former County Judge Carlos Cascos's Facebook page. The comments some of his followers submitted to a post about Trevino were not new, or novel, or even interesting.

It was the usual all-alarm attack on Trevino, and not the first in Brownsville's social media.

Criticism aimed at a politician belongs in our discourse these days. Drop some anger on that public servant just because, goes the line. We have no problem with that, only we do when the attack seems wrong on most counts and unnecessary.

At issue was a $15,000 contribution offered to Precinct 1 Constable Norman Esquivel. No, it didn't come from the Girl Scouts Cookies organization; it was from a Republican political action group led by someone named John Rourke.

It seems Rourke, shown in photo below, approached the Cameron County Commissioner's Court recently to ask that it okay the contribution, and to do it publicly and posthaste.

County Judge Eddie Trevino, a Democrat, said in so many words, "Uh, no."

Rourke then went public with his anger and disappointment, taking Trevino to task for some sort of disrespect he felt he got from the county judge. Soon, Rourke was on the far-right cable talk shows blasting Trevino. Trevino said no more, other than the contribution would be approved or disapproved after further review.

On the Facebook discussion entertained by Carlos Cascos, the verbiage went to how Trevino could deny such a generous offer.

We chimed in with a few questions about the contribution and the group behind, asking also why only Constable Esquivel was being singled out as the lone recipient. Initially, we noted that Esquivel is a Republican, only that is somewhat up in the air.

We further said it was a good decision by Trevino to not approve the donation immediately. We noted the fact that Rourke is aligned with Donald J. Trump, so that, for Democrat Trevino, was something to throw into the equation and think about.

"I don't think the issue was so much the $$, but more the treatment, disrespect of the constable & the politicizing of the event," Cascos, the former county judge, threw in. "Stating the flyer mentioned Bidens name when in fact it did not, he made it political. That's the way I saw it."

Disrespect, I did not see.

Yes, Trevino was likely not happy at seeing Rourke show up. And, as is his wont, he reacted pretty much as he always does at anything he does not like. That's all politicians, however. Cascos did note that he faced criticism while serving as Texas Secretary of State and always dealt with it civilly and with respect.

That's Cascos.

That's not Eddie Trevino.

As for the out-of-the-blue donation, we wonder what Rourke and his Republican pals would do if a Brownsville Mexican showed-up at a county government meeting in Florida and ask that a bag of cash be okayed for one of their own deputies.

The response would likely be: Cat-quick, wild-eyed insinuation that the benevolent Mexican was a member of the Drug Cartels out to buy local influence.

You know it. And I know it...

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CANDIDATES:...Cowboy Hats In The Horseless Valley...

 


By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

BROWNSVILLE, Texas | Word comes that hats are being readied for any would-be candidate for county sheriff. Cowboying is in, say the proponents of the western wear. Want instant endorsement? Buy a hat, take a photo wearing it and hand it out at will.

You will immediately gain some sort of border credibility. Or, as cops and deputies know that word, "da cred."

Cameron County Sheriff Eric Garza got one after winning election four years ago, this after serving as district clerk, where he didn't need a cowboy hat. Since then, Garza has been a literal cowpuncher any West Texas ranch would like to have, if only for photos showing a Mexican at work.

Into the pig-smelling corral that is the candidate's circle has come Jesus Rosas, Jr.

He, too, wears a cowboy hat. And he, too, looks quite dumb in it, like some downtown vato who saw his first episode of Gunsmoke and said, "Hey, ese, why not me?"

Rosas wants to be sheriff just to wear the hat, is what his brother told us. Well, no, that's not true, although wouldn't it be nice for us if the brother had come forward. Does fullback-model Rosas even have a brother? He has cowboy hats. We're sure of that.

He's not in the race for sheriff yet, but we expect one John Chambers, the guy Eric Garza beat in the last election, to jump in any day now. Chambers wears - you guessed it - cowboy hats. His is the look not of Matt Dillon or Wyatt Earp but of some chubby white guy who wants to look a little taller in his boots and Stetson.

Voters know about this, dudes.

Geez, Louise. Someone get a freakin' Charro hat, okay?

The other Mexican in the sheriff's race is someone named Ronnie Saenz. There was a time when Ronnie was short for Veronica, but perhaps no more. As my galpal Melissa Zamora might say about here, "Quien sobby?"

We're hip to wanting to belong to something or another as a politician.

But, boys, the cowboy hat is not in vogue. Maybe in Austin, where everybody is after a woman like Laura Olson, the attorney general's sweetheart. But in Cameron County, well, who are these dudes trying to impress - each other?

If this crazy-dumb trend moves across the local political landscape, should we expect to see Mayor John Cowen in a cowboy hat? He'd have a few good reasons to do it, as, for one, he is very bald.

No, we say everybody take their cowboy hats off and toss them to the kids in the neighborhoods.

Walking around looking like a nameless background extra for some high-powered TV western only devalues your candidacy. Endorse one of these drugstore cowboys? Not happening.

The cowboy hat, we have learned, is a symbol of courage, strength, and self-reliance.

We don't see that in any of these fake cowboy candidates...

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SUN SPORTS:...Boys Kick Hell Outta NY Jets...And The Ball...

 


STAFF REPORT

ARLINGTON, Texas | You watch the Dallas Cowboys play on TV and you always expect offensive fireworks. Bullet Bob Hayes streaking down the sidelines after a pass from Dandy Don Meredith. Receivers Lance Rentzel and Lance Alworth doing the same. Troy Aikman hitting Michael Irvin, The Playmaker for the win.

Sunday's game was supposed to see the dog-ass Cowboys open up the offense. Or, uh, that's what Head Coach Mike McCarthy told reporters ahead of the team's game at home against the New York Jets.

The offense in the 30-10 victory?

Five field goals.

Yeah, two passing TDs by QB Dak Prescott, but five field goals was all the fans got.

Still, it was a win and Da Boys are now 2-0 for the season.

For a play-by-play wrap-up, go to some other website. We are covering the game results primarily, mainly because it's a damned long 17-game season and the adjectives get old. But there is one stat that grabs at us and likely will grab at you, you die-hard Cowboys groupie.

Da Boys have beaten both New York teams (NY Giants last weekend) by a combined score of 70-10. That's a load of offense.

But Sunday, it was five boring field goals that padded the final score...

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Sunday, September 17, 2023

THE PAXTON FILES:...Texas AG Gets His Job And Mistress Back...Is That It?...

 


By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

McALLEN, Texas | We're not going to re-hash the trial's particulars. History will do that enough. Our take on the "Acquitted" verdicts that came after Texas Attorney General Kan Paxton's trial is an expected one - he is soiled and should take no damned pleasure from not being expelled.

The 60-year-old Paxton came out with his usual strong, "fuck you all" statement about his acquittal, which was to be expected. He's led a charmed political life, as we often write here. Let that self-serving statement he handed to the press stay in its overnight grave; we're not publishing it here.

What must be said, Dear Texans, is that this hangnail trial was all a Republican move, play and result.

Democrats were the so-called curious onlookers, the guys on the sidewalk as the circus rolled into town. We had wondered about why Republicans would bring a case against one of their own. Entitled Paxton has been MAGA Republican since the election of Donald J. Trump in 2016! To expect a well-settled domestic and public life from this guy was to expect Leave It To Beaver come to life.

He's back on the job as Texas Attorney General after a three-month suspension.

And we also know that he has a sort of vengeful personality, so we should pity his office's entire staff. Many of them turned on him when he started doing it all for his benevolent backer, the shady real estate mogul Nate Paul, a dude so present under the FBI's microscope that any super tiny-ass germ would be as visible as Mt. Fuji.

No, we don't expect anything to change. Even Republican Gov. Greg Abbott welcomed him back. So much for accountability and great expectations. Ken Paxton won and to the winners go the spoils. That may include a continuation of his sexual acrobatics with the mistress in the story who never got to testify - one 50-year-old Laura Olson (shown in photos at above and below).

Has there been even a remote apology from Paxton? Anything resembling one?

Is Mrs. Paxton, Angela, a state senator, going to say a word or two about his wanton, very public infidelity? He threw it in her face! Everybody knows the salacious story. We don't expect her to, because he, too, is a Republican and they don't always play the societal game we all have to. If she suffered her fool in midnight weepings, well, she'll likely keep doing it. At 60 years old, Angela Paxton's too old to think divorce and the singles scene one more time.

Laura Olson, married and divorced four times, no doubt knows her role in Texas politics. We'll leave it at that.

It's a sad day for Texas, actually.

Its attorney general, the top lawman in the state, is a rotten dude whose record does not lie. He helps his friends in fights against his very own federal government. Paxton uses the color of the office for self-gain and personal fights. For being good at this, we pay him.

Tomorrow begins another day.

Playboy A.G. Ken Paxton will rise with the sun and thank his lucky stars.

He'll perhaps round it out by giving Laura Olson a call...after kissing his wife and wishing her a nice day.

Some attorney general...

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SUN SPORTS...Ragged Horns Club Wyoming, 31-10...Club?...

 


STAFF REPORT

AUSTIN, Texas | It wasn't pretty, but it was a win. What else can you say about a game as boring as fog. That was Texas vs. Wyoming, a yawner of the first order. The score, 31-10, speaks of an easy win, but it was tighter than, as Billy Ocean would sing, painted-on jeans on some lovely honey.

Spare me the yards passed and yards rushed stuff; I was watching it at a bar full of Horns fans who seemed to whoop and holler with every play, a shitty eight-yard gain or a run-of-the-mill gang tackle.

This blurb from statesman.com: [ For the first time since 2012, the Texas football team is 3-0.

Not that keeping that unblemished record intact was easy. Texas had to outlast an unexpected challenge from Wyoming in a 31-10 win at Royal-Memorial Stadium on Saturday night. The Longhorns entered this game as a heavy favorite, but needed a fourth-quarter scoring spree to break a tie with Wyoming (2-1) and secure the victory.

Texas opens Big 12 play next week at Baylor (1-2). ]

Well, sure, Go Horns!

Baylor has nothing this season so that should also be one for feeling the effects of a Valium tablet or two, as they like to say, no, scream, in crazed-excitement-at-every-turn Emergency Rooms across this grass-whorled country...

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SUN SPORTS:...Overtime! Colorado Slips Past Instate Rival, 43-35...

 


STAFF REPORT

BOULDER, CO. | Watching a football game at a sports bar generally is said to be a little better than doing it at home on the old, familiar couch. The weird thing last night while catching the Colorado vs. Colorado State thriller at Harvey's on 10th was that closing time was approaching fast there near the end.

But what a game, Maria!

Baby, it don't get no better'n this.

The Buffs took it 43-35 in double overtime just as I was being told my tab was being readied. Shit, I think I said, do it! Where to begin on the wrap-up?

The late scores, touchdown passes by Colorado QB Shedeur Sanders? Well, yes. Those comebacks again and again against a wildly-inspired Colorado State Rams squad? Sure. Sometimes, game statistics get in the way of telling the overall tale of struggle and eventual victory.

In the end, perhaps it was the old homefield advantage. Who knows?

But the U of Colorado earned this one. Three and Oh now.

That's all that matters, isn't it?...

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Saturday, September 16, 2023

TRIALS:...Ken Paxton NOT GUILTY!!!...Texas Attorney General Back In Office...

 


By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

AUSTIN, Texas | The charmed life of Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton will proceed as it always has - that trial on 16 charges that included abuse of office led to a Not Guilty verdict today.

A Texas Senate jury says he can get back to work.

Paxton was suspended last May, when the Texas House voted to bring charges against him after an investigation yielded a mountain of information that spoke to Paxton being a loose cannon and using his office to aid friends in exchange for gifts.

The 60-year-old Republican did not testify during his impeachment trial. At the heart of the matter was a pattern that saw Paxton help and keep helping his friend and donor Nate Paul, an Austin real estate investor. Paxton’s defense attorneys had said all of his disputed actions were within his purview as an elected official, asserted that no accusations were proven beyond a reasonable doubt and urged senators to return the attorney general to work.

The case had all the angles of a TV drama, with word of an in-house rebellion by staff attorneys who questioned much of Paxton's relationship with Paul and which ultimately led them to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, where they submitted "whistleblower" complaints.

The attorneys were then summarily dismissed. They filed a lawsuit and won a $3.3 million settlement.

It was the payout that started the mess for Paxton, as he sought to get Texas taxpayers to cover the hefty settlement. Texas legislators balked at doing that and then began their investigation, which led to Paxton's suspension and eventual trial.

There was also the sub-plot that had Paxton seeing a mistress named Laura Olson, a four-times divorced 50-year-old. The allegation was that Paxton had Paul to give her a job as a way to keep her in town. Miss Olson had been scheduled to testify, but her appearance was cancelled. Paxton's wife, Angela, played the part of the tragic wife.

A state senator representing her district centered in McKinney, a Dallas suburb, 60-year-old Angela Paxton was there daily, listening to testimony with fellow senators. We looked for but could not find reaction to the verdict from her.

Ahead of the vote, Rep. Andrew Murr, R-Junction, one of the House impeachment managers, told senators that Paxton's defense lawyers "have blindly ignored the fact that he ultimately served one person: himself."

Ken Paxton may celebrate this particular victory, but he has pending problems. He faces trial on charges of securities fraud dating back to 2015.

A federal investigation that came after Paxton's senior aides reported him to the FBI in 2020, alleging crimes similar to these impeachment charges has reached a grand jury in San Antonio. That potential criminal indictment carries far higher stakes than impeachment.

Fighting to stay in office is one thing; doing it to remain out of prison is altogether another...

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The jury's vote on the articles of impeachment were:

Article 1, disregard of official duty: Acquitted

Article 2, disregard of official duty: Acquitted

Article 3, disregard of official duty: Acquitted

Article 4, disregard of official duty: Acquitted

Article 5, disregard of official duty: Acquitted

Article 6, disregard of official duty: Acquitted

Article 7, misapplication of public resources: Acquitted

Article 8, disregard of official duty: Acquitted

Article 9, constitutional bribery: Acquitted

Article 10, constitutional bribery: Acquitted

Article 15, false statements in official records: Acquitted

Article 16, conspiracy and attempted conspiracy: Acquitted

Article 17, misappropriation of public resources: Acquitted

Article 18, dereliction of duty: Acquitted

Article 19, unfitness for office: Acquitted

Article 20, abuse of public trust: Acquitted

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REPUBLICANS:...One Is Fondled...Yeah, Boebert...

 


By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

McALLEN, Texas | The semi-attractive Republican congresswoman was being fondled at a showing of the haunting musical Beetlejuice in Denver. Fondled by a Democrat, the press breathlessly reported. Oh, man. This after trial-related info about outside-the-marriage sexual Olympics enjoyed by troubled Republican Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton?

Why, yes, Maria. Yes. Republicans also like sex. Wherever they can get it.

Firebrand politician Lauren Boebert was the star attraction in the audience during the musical performance, there having her lovely breasts caressed by Democrat Quinn Gallagher, a Colorado businessman. The video, and photos taken from the black & white theater video, are all over the Internet, so much so that the 36-year-old Boebert has issued an apology.

This from the conservative dailymail.com: [ Lauren Boebert, who became a grandma earlier this year aged 36, blamed her divorce and the anxiety of being out in public after she was caught heavy-petting with "Democrat " boyfriend Quinn Gallagher, waving her hands, singing loudly, using flash photography and vaping.


After being ejected from the show last Sunday, she asked an usher "Do you know who I am?" and gave a staffer the finger. But she made a startling U-turn late Friday night blaming her behavior on her "public and difficult divorce."

"The past few days have been difficult and humbling, and I'm truly sorry," she wrote in a statement. "There's no perfect blueprint for going through a public and difficult divorce, which over the past few months has made a challenging personal time for me and my entire family.'


We looked for but could find no comment from fondler boyfriend Gallagher, who seemed, well, too-happy working Boebert's nice, supple tits. Perhaps later today, eh, Quinn?

Boebert's time in Congress has been just as dramatic, but we've told those stories here before.

No, none about fondling, or, well, sexy, totally doable Boebert being fondled.

The theater lights were down, we should note.

Perhaps that inspired touchy-touchy Democrat Gallagher...

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SUN SPORTS:...After Goofy Midweek Dustup, Colorado Tackles Colorado State...

 


STAFF REPORT

BOULDER, CO. | It's personal. That's what Colorado Buffaloes Head Coach Deion Sanders said about tonight's game against also-ran Colorado State. This came after Sanders caught some trash from CSU Head Coach Jay Norvell about his style.

Norvell wondered why Sanders, an NFL Hall of Famer, wears his hat and shades when doing interviews with sportswriters and other media. Sanders likely wished to only concern himself with readying his #18-ranked Buffaloes for the contest.

Colorado State, located in Fort Collins up near the Wyoming border, comes into the game with an 0-1 record, having lost its opener to Washington State 50-24.

The Buffaloes are 2-0, having beaten TCU 45-42 and Nebraska 36-10.

The Buffs are favored over the CSU Rams by 24 points in tonight's game, according to bookies in Las Vegas. The game is being broadcast by ESPN...

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SUN SPORTS:...Horns Host Wyoming Cowboys Tonight...

 


STAFF REPORT

AUSTIN, Texas | This early in the football season, a 2-0 record doesn't mean much. There's still a long, long way to go before the games get serious. But Texas meets Wyoming tonight and both teams walk into Darrell K. Royal Stadium undefeated.

Texas, ranked # 4, is favored.

The Wyoming Cowboys come off an impressive 35-33 win over Texas Tech after beating lowly Fresno State 30-0 in their season opener.

The Longorns whipped Rice 37-10 two weeks ago and then whomped the always-tough Alabama Crimson Tide 34-24 in Tuscaloosa last weekend.

The game is being broadcast on The Longhorn Network...

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TRIALS:...Texas AG Paxton Awaits Verdict...In Or Out?...

 


By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

AUSTIN, Texas | Ken Paxton waits. The usually energetic current Texas Attorney General has spent the last two weeks worrying about expulsion from an office he has held since 2015. He's on trial in the Texas Senate for abuse of official powers.

Testimony in the impeachment trial ended at noon yesterday, with senators serving as jury considering the charges through 8:00 PM last night. They recessed without a verdict and will resume deliberations this morning.

Paxton had skipped attending the trial most of this past week, but was present yesterday. His wife Angela (see photo below), a state senator representing a constituency in McKinney, also was in the trial's courtroom. She has been barred from voting on her husband's fate.

State Rep. Jeff Leach, who has said he considered himself a good friend of Paxton, offered words of courage for the jury, urging a conviction. Leach is from North Texas.

"This will, if you're like me, be the hardest, the most difficult, the heaviest vote that you will ever cast in your time in the Legislature," Leach said, most likely talking from his own experience as one of the House members who made the case in the lower chamber to charge Paxton with offenses ranging from constitutional bribery and disregarding his official duties to firing the once-trusted aides who had warned him he was straying outside of legal bounds.

Jurors will also consider a second ruling if they vote to oust Paxton.

They may also vote to bar him from seeking other state offices. That, however, would not preclude Paxton from running for, say, Congress.

He was first elected in 2014 and later won reelection in 2018 and 2022...

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Friday, September 15, 2023

CASUAL FRIDAY:...Terrifying Fish Head Tales & Creepy Stuff Out Of Brownsville...

 


By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

BROWNSVILLE, Texas | She does have a life. Outside politics and the ever-grabbing world of the Cameron County Commissioner's Court - known far & wide for sitting members padding the Ol' paycheck at every turn. Is Precinct 2 County Commissioner Sofia Benavides really into it. I mean, at her age she likely does not need the extra cash.

What for - Christmas gifts?

That hardly-irascible Miss Sofie may not take to bagging sand every time a hurricane approaches the southern Texas Coast, but she will get out into the Golfo de Mejico and hook herself a fish or two (see cool photo above).

So, we'll fan a bit of wind her way and ask: Is the commissioner's court doing anything even half-spectacular? For the county, or for the county's poverty-stricken people? Over out this way, in the better neighborhood of the Rio Grande Valley, well, we have not heard of anything near-spectacular.

Still, this is CASUAL FRIDAY...and, well, Sofia Benavides knows a casual pose when she sees one. 2nd question: Has she drawn an opponent in her reelection effort? Yeah, we pictured another mustachioed Mexican dude in a cowboy hat. 

As for the fish: Lock him up!...

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We couldn't settle on a photo of the Intolerant Cool Capt. Bob Sanchez for this excerpt. The hat you see above did it for us. These hats should be distributed to the entire city of Brownsville population, so that - for one shining moment - they could walk and laugh as one.

Everyone elsewhere in the Rio Grande Valley knows Brownsville as the Dysfunctional City By The Sea, or something like that. El Capitan, known far & wide in his restaurant, does his best to cheer-up the local proletariat.

That podcast of his, AKA The CBS Show, is growing by yoga leaps and bounds. Maria Muldaur Ramirez, our office receptionist, loves the show to the point of insisting on a clause in her employment contract that she will be on break whenever CBS is online.

You have to appreciate all Capt. Bob does for Brownsville, does it for nothing other than cheap publicity that only aids in magnifying his local celebrity.

But he's a clever one - His guests are always lesser dudes and gals than he is. The host must be the star! Sit up straight, Erasmo! Read the intro, loca! We're told all guests must sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement (NDA) agreeing to never reveal exactly what goes into the staging of his unconquerable podcast. Trade secrets, is his mantra.

Hey, tune in and see for yourself.

Bank it: His next guest(s) will be some inferior Second Banana...

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Who be this lovely lass? Lotsa stuff swirling about town on this one. She's Deborah Bell, an apparent political newcomer out to replace the historical figure named Morgan Graham as chairman of the Cameron County Republican Party - that group of five or six always-buoyant county residents still believing the Magic Valley has room for them at the table.

Miss Bell has a shot at the Big Time.

Uh, no, not really.

We must confess to not knowing much about her, other than that she is - or has been - some sort of neighborhood political activist. But her candidacy would fit the times we're currently living, an Era Of Nincompoops who keep storming out of the rotting woodwork and rise to challenge the status quo - like brave weeds rising against a new lawnmower.

Good luck, Debbie.

And so long...

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We at The McAllen Sun have been urging former City Commissioner Ben Neece to stay away from this guy. Tony Zavaleta may look like a pleasant sort in the photo alongside his lovely wife, but he's said to be something of a mover & shaker on the Texas Southmost College's Board of Trustees.

Mover & shaker as in moving to shake up the board's makeup to his liking.

Neece, an accomplished musician, should be wary of any attention he gets from Tony Z., as he is known in social media. What God-awful plan Tony Z. may have for Neece as a replacement for current TSC Trustee J.J. DeLeon is the Big Unknown.

Play it, Ben: "Well, I started out on Burgundy, but soon hit the harder stuff. Everybody said they're right behind me when the game got rough. But the joke was on me, there was nobody to even call my bluff. I'm going back to my loft; I do believe I've had enough."...

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Wow, that didn't take long. A friend in town tells us former Mayor Juan "Trey" Mendez has already been forgotten in the gossiping halls of City Hall. He just left - like earlier this year! Poor cat.

Once upon a time The Long, Lost Love of Bloggers, he was the proverbial Savior of Brownsville, especially after the hard-ass reign of one Tony Martinez, who always looked cool doing Covid-19 interviews on CNN but then did nothing to fight the virus making residents even more stupid in town.

Trey, lad, we hardly knew ye, ese.

Little Boy Blue had risen to the top elected post in town with a can-do attitude promised by his pal Adela Garza of TSC Board presidency fame.

Then..........zzzzzzzzzzzz......nothing happened.

Mendez is still in town. Perhaps you've seen him. And maybe not.

He's old news, a has-been and a man perceived as a miserable failure as a public servant. Too bad, yes.

Mendez could've been more, a lot more.

He just likely knew that he never should've been mayor. Director of City Softball Leagues, yes.

Mayor, no...

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Any sign of those new shade-pleasing bus shelters for local bus riders? What - no, you say. Well, that tells us the guy you see in the photo above is still singing himself to sleep. That's local, Pro-Mexicans Blogger Juan Montoya, defender of all things south of the border. He's playing a variety of tunes lately, but forever on the Winding Bitching Trail for anything that will keep the blistering heat off non-complaining bus riders he doesn't even know.

Whatever. It's a cause to fight for when summer rolls around and news takes a holiday.

The former reporter for The Brownsville Herald never mentions the bus shelters when the Holiday Season comes around, which is anyday now.

We may be being a bit harsh on the Ol' Jarhead, but it's true. His fight for these shelters, yeah, needed, seems to be a seasonal thing with him. No blistering heat, No shelter needed - is that it?

Could be.

But one fine day, when he least expects it, perhaps after the fabled Tenaska Scandal is resolved, Montoya will find himself walking to his favorite cantina and then....suddenly spot a new bus shelter right there in front of him at the streetcorner!

Until then, he waits.

Juan should also know that someday sometimes never comes...

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TRIALS:...Rough Going For A.G. Wife Angela Paxton...

 


By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

AUSTIN, Texas | She's been there every day of the trial. It's not like most wives wouldn't do the same, but there is a certain sadness to Angela Paxton's loyal presence at her husband's impeachment trial. Faces don't lie, it is said of a woman's facial features when her man's in deep trouble.

Ken Paxton is about to lose his job as Texas Attorney General.

It would be easy for Mrs. Paxton, shown in photo above, to simply flake-off and stay way. She is barred from voting on her husband's fate. And, it very well could be that she also wanted to hear firsthand information Ken may have kept from her.

Especially all that stuff about sexual trysts with a woman identified earlier as Laura Olson.

Laura Olson, 50, is 10 years younger than Ken Paxton and just as many as Angela Paxton, 60. She's tall and thin. Some might even say she would cast well as a model for a mistress in some Hollywood offering. Angela Paxton looks much more conservative and wifey.

The trial is still ongoing as we post this on Thursday afternoon. The word is that it will wrap-up later today or tomorrow, with a vote on Paxton' impeachment coming over the weekend.

For now, we offer this pictorial of Angela Paxton as the trial unfolded in the Texas Senate, where she serves as a senator representing a constituency up in McKinney, a suburb of Dallas.

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She's the picture of a trusting, supportive wife in all of these photos. Much of that is to be expected. The trial is in its second and final week, but the story of her husband's legal trouble has been around for almost 10 years.

One wonders whether the pictures tell the real story of Angela Paxton's likely agonizing faithfulness...

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Thursday, September 14, 2023

INDICTMENTS:..Boys, It's A Democrat This Time...Hunter Biden...

 


By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

WASHINGTON, D.C. | He's coming up to his mid-50s and now facing serious court stuff. Hunter Biden, 53, the president's son long the target of Far Right-Wing media, finally saw the indictment come down the political fallopian tube.

That came today.

This from axios.com: [ Hunter Biden was indicted on three counts related to his alleged illegal possession of a firearm, according to a court filing on Thursday.

The indictment by special counsel David Weiss comes after plea deal negotiations fell apart last month over two tax misdemeanors and a gun felony against President Biden's son.

The indictment was largely expected, as Weiss indicated earlier this month that he was seeking an indictment against Hunter Biden by the end of September.

Driving the news: The charges in the indictment include making false statements on a federal form when he purchased a firearm in 2018 and possession of a firearm while using a narcotic. ]

So the dogged pursuit panned out for Republicans looking to even the Indictment Race that has former Republican President Donald J. Trump in the lead, with four indictments.

Republicans should know that one of their own, ex-President George W. Bush, once thought so much of Hunter Biden that he named him to the AMTRAK Board of directors.

Yeah, go chug on your cheap cantina beer and guzzle that down...

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DO YOU KNOW ME? - ...Windblown Hair Is A Clue...

 


By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

SOUTH PADRE ISLAND, Texas | Name that dude. Yeah, the guy in the photo above. He's somewhat well-known in his hometown, although most Rio Grande Valley residents likely would have no idea who he is. None at all. Is he the new swim coach over at some ritzy beachfront hotel here?

No.

Could he be the owner of a happening bar only a Cuba Libre this side of the Laguna Madre?

No.

Is he some fishing guide able to land you a snook or two?

No.

Well, then, who the Hell is this bearded dude?

Why, Jimmy Boy, that's Patrick McNulty, the mayor of sand-eating South Padre Island and the public servant with perhaps the lowest name-recognition in the magic valley. Does SPI consider itself part of the Big Time Hispanic RGV?

Well, you could certainly wonder about that - there is not one Hispanic on its City Council, so who knows about that?

Not that most people here would care to go there. That sun & fun has a way with moods and feelings.

South Padre Island is, after all, an island.

We'll catch up with McNulty for some real news one of these days. Until then, we will keep searching for the Most Obscure Mayor in the whole, gosh-darned Valley...

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