CASUAL FRIDAY:...Terrifying Fish Head Tales & Creepy Stuff Out Of Brownsville...

 

By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

BROWNSVILLE, Texas | She does have a life. Outside politics and the ever-grabbing world of the Cameron County Commissioner's Court - known far & wide for sitting members padding the Ol' paycheck at every turn. Is Precinct 2 County Commissioner Sofia Benavides really into it. I mean, at her age she likely does not need the extra cash.

What for - Christmas gifts?

That hardly-irascible Miss Sofie may not take to bagging sand every time a hurricane approaches the southern Texas Coast, but she will get out into the Golfo de Mejico and hook herself a fish or two (see cool photo above).

So, we'll fan a bit of wind her way and ask: Is the commissioner's court doing anything even half-spectacular? For the county, or for the county's poverty-stricken people? Over out this way, in the better neighborhood of the Rio Grande Valley, well, we have not heard of anything near-spectacular.

Still, this is CASUAL FRIDAY...and, well, Sofia Benavides knows a casual pose when she sees one. 2nd question: Has she drawn an opponent in her reelection effort? Yeah, we pictured another mustachioed Mexican dude in a cowboy hat. 

As for the fish: Lock him up!...

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We couldn't settle on a photo of the Intolerant Cool Capt. Bob Sanchez for this excerpt. The hat you see above did it for us. These hats should be distributed to the entire city of Brownsville population, so that - for one shining moment - they could walk and laugh as one.

Everyone elsewhere in the Rio Grande Valley knows Brownsville as the Dysfunctional City By The Sea, or something like that. El Capitan, known far & wide in his restaurant, does his best to cheer-up the local proletariat.

That podcast of his, AKA The CBS Show, is growing by yoga leaps and bounds. Maria Muldaur Ramirez, our office receptionist, loves the show to the point of insisting on a clause in her employment contract that she will be on break whenever CBS is online.

You have to appreciate all Capt. Bob does for Brownsville, does it for nothing other than cheap publicity that only aids in magnifying his local celebrity.

But he's a clever one - His guests are always lesser dudes and gals than he is. The host must be the star! Sit up straight, Erasmo! Read the intro, loca! We're told all guests must sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement (NDA) agreeing to never reveal exactly what goes into the staging of his unconquerable podcast. Trade secrets, is his mantra.

Hey, tune in and see for yourself.

Bank it: His next guest(s) will be some inferior Second Banana...

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Who be this lovely lass? Lotsa stuff swirling about town on this one. She's Deborah Bell, an apparent political newcomer out to replace the historical figure named Morgan Graham as chairman of the Cameron County Republican Party - that group of five or six always-buoyant county residents still believing the Magic Valley has room for them at the table.

Miss Bell has a shot at the Big Time.

Uh, no, not really.

We must confess to not knowing much about her, other than that she is - or has been - some sort of neighborhood political activist. But her candidacy would fit the times we're currently living, an Era Of Nincompoops who keep storming out of the rotting woodwork and rise to challenge the status quo - like brave weeds rising against a new lawnmower.

Good luck, Debbie.

And so long...

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We at The McAllen Sun have been urging former City Commissioner Ben Neece to stay away from this guy. Tony Zavaleta may look like a pleasant sort in the photo alongside his lovely wife, but he's said to be something of a mover & shaker on the Texas Southmost College's Board of Trustees.

Mover & shaker as in moving to shake up the board's makeup to his liking.

Neece, an accomplished musician, should be wary of any attention he gets from Tony Z., as he is known in social media. What God-awful plan Tony Z. may have for Neece as a replacement for current TSC Trustee J.J. DeLeon is the Big Unknown.

Play it, Ben: "Well, I started out on Burgundy, but soon hit the harder stuff. Everybody said they're right behind me when the game got rough. But the joke was on me, there was nobody to even call my bluff. I'm going back to my loft; I do believe I've had enough."...

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Wow, that didn't take long. A friend in town tells us former Mayor Juan "Trey" Mendez has already been forgotten in the gossiping halls of City Hall. He just left - like earlier this year! Poor cat.

Once upon a time The Long, Lost Love of Bloggers, he was the proverbial Savior of Brownsville, especially after the hard-ass reign of one Tony Martinez, who always looked cool doing Covid-19 interviews on CNN but then did nothing to fight the virus making residents even more stupid in town.

Trey, lad, we hardly knew ye, ese.

Little Boy Blue had risen to the top elected post in town with a can-do attitude promised by his pal Adela Garza of TSC Board presidency fame.

Then..........zzzzzzzzzzzz......nothing happened.

Mendez is still in town. Perhaps you've seen him. And maybe not.

He's old news, a has-been and a man perceived as a miserable failure as a public servant. Too bad, yes.

Mendez could've been more, a lot more.

He just likely knew that he never should've been mayor. Director of City Softball Leagues, yes.

Mayor, no...

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Any sign of those new shade-pleasing bus shelters for local bus riders? What - no, you say. Well, that tells us the guy you see in the photo above is still singing himself to sleep. That's local, Pro-Mexicans Blogger Juan Montoya, defender of all things south of the border. He's playing a variety of tunes lately, but forever on the Winding Bitching Trail for anything that will keep the blistering heat off non-complaining bus riders he doesn't even know.

Whatever. It's a cause to fight for when summer rolls around and news takes a holiday.

The former reporter for The Brownsville Herald never mentions the bus shelters when the Holiday Season comes around, which is anyday now.

We may be being a bit harsh on the Ol' Jarhead, but it's true. His fight for these shelters, yeah, needed, seems to be a seasonal thing with him. No blistering heat, No shelter needed - is that it?

Could be.

But one fine day, when he least expects it, perhaps after the fabled Tenaska Scandal is resolved, Montoya will find himself walking to his favorite cantina and then....suddenly spot a new bus shelter right there in front of him at the streetcorner!

Until then, he waits.

Juan should also know that someday sometimes never comes...

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