By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ
BROWNSVILLE, Texas | Need a cheap place to live, a town full of gaiety and so much history that, well, history blocks any sign of progress? No, we're not talking about some scenic town in lovely neighboring Mexico, some place like Lake Chapala or Cholula.
Come here!
Here, yes, here. Here to sporty, dynamic, fountain of fun Brownsville. And, yes, find a lovely mix of American and Mexican societal currents moving across the Deep South Texas city, home to some 180,000 residents.
You could do a lot worse.
The Rio Grande Valley throws pretty much the same Panamerican flavorings at you, but Brownsville wears its style and menu like a crown. There's a well-known zoo somewhere in town. A small-sized but accommodating, air-conditioned shopping mall. Enough taco joints to keep you both fed and entertained (two-tortilla tacos, Baby!).
It offers semi-good jobs, just enough attractive housing (frame buildings!) and enough daily entertainment coming out of City Hall to keep a nosy newcomer on his or her toes. Oh, about that? - there are plenty of nail salons and dog groomers here. Nail clippers sell as much as red lipstick and rouge and dog shampoo, goes the line at the Chamber of Commerce. That's Mayor John Cowen in photo above, at right. He's a happy camper in Brownsville.
Casual is the word of the day, in clothing, shoes and conversation. In the bars, a wink is as a good as a nod, according to High & Low society blogger Jerry McHale, a local writer whose books say the same thing this article is saying. Brownsville is a loose jean jacket in winter and a white, sleeveless, wife-beater T-shirt in the hot, hot, hot, hot, hot summertime.
Want a day without Anglos?
It could happen here. The city that always sleeps is - what? - 94.1% Hispanics. Work on your Spanish phraseology at the grocery store, where the checkout clerks will hit you with a "Buenos Dias!" before saying, "Debit or credit, sir?" Bi-lingual or else! We love it. Que amor, por favor!
Single and interested in meeting a soft, copper-skin Hispanic lass with that rare arrogant back and sexy overbite? Come here!
No joke.
Some men do alright with the local ladies. Some get a taste of one Hispanic woman they marry two or three. This, lads, this is the place for the best kind of love. It may not last, but it will horse-collar you while you're invested. Some of the city's mayors have one wife, some have more than one as they age. And, really, who cares? If the Little Woman dies, well, the possibilities are endless! There is no "class system" at the local cemetery. And they allow for tombstone epitaphs in Spanish too. "Te fuiste muy pronto, Maria," reads one.
Yeah, come here!
Brownsville will never recruit residents, because it doesn't have to. Word-of-mouth, son. That's how out-of-towners get the word, the inspiration to come and try the Brownsville Life, as unique a lifestyle as any you will find in other remote sectors of the world.
You like Managua, Nicaragua? There's a taste of that here. Same for Honduras and El Salvador and the Philippines and Thailand. Look around. Listen to people noisily yapping, gently rapping away at the mall or at restaurants or at the many local bars and nightclubs.
This is not Peoria, Illinois.
Brownsville is so unique that to use the word unique is to sell it cheaply...
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