SUPER TUESDAY RESULTS: ...Mayra Flores Crushes Lame Opponents...Fellow Republican Monica De La Cruz Takes Her Dist. 15 Race...Hasse Weathers Beating, But Loses Again...

 

By DUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

BROWNSVILLE, Texas |...Boys, this was like a Mayra Flores cartoon in which she wallops The Three Little Pigs. Oink, oink, Baby. Elections used to be close contests for the most part, but Miss Flores, a mouthy marquee Republican, tends to shoo her opponents aside rather easily.

Bring on Democrat Vicente Gonzalez!

Yesterday's Super Tuesday vote had more than a handful of "expected" results, sure. But Mayra Flores took a whopping 83% of the vote! In a four-candidate race!! As crooner David Allan Coe might sing about here: "If that ain't country, I'll kiss your arse."

Lost in the fog of the dusty avalanche were fake Republicans Laura E. Cisneros and Mauro Garza. Together, they got almost 10% of the vote. Also-ran Gregory Kunkle played the part of the "Who dat?"

Yes, sometimes it's almost too-easy to pick winners in politics. Trump won big in Texas, as did Ted Cruz. It was, to be honest, not a real election, in that these contests pitted partisans against each other for the right to meet opposing party candidates in the November General Election.

Mayra Flores is still steaming from her loss to the same Gonzalez in 2022. You could see it in her face and hear it in her words all through this particular campaign. Flores had no time for family fights. She wants Gonzalez in the worst of ways. 35 rounds of boxing or 7 out of 12 falls in wrestling.

"Today’s overwhelming victory clearly shows that we have the support, momentum, and message to defeat Vicente Gonzalez and bring home a resounding victory in November," Flores said, via her Facebook page.

That's the 34th Congressional District main event in the Fall. District 15 will see a repeat of their all-out 2022 brawl after both incumbent Republican Monica De La Cruz and Democrat Michelle Vallejo won their party races. Ironically, Gonzalez held that particular seat until he was gerrymandered out and the next thing you knew he had bolted for neighboring district 34. Good luck, Vincent, but I could have told you this world was never meant for anyone as boring as you. Starry, starry night, Baby!

In ever-mourning Brownsville, the insistent lad Tad Hasse (shown in photo below) lost his latest bid for office. Hasse, a city employee, was beaten by newcomer Deborah Bell in the race for Cameron County Republican Party Chairman - a lofty, yet not really lofty political post. Bell grabbed 61% of the vote, whipping Hasse 8,062 to 4,994 in the vote count.

Bell pummeled Hasse with early-count body blows and a late-in-the-fight string of crippling uppercuts, taking the race easily.

You may or may not recall that this same Hasse lost his previous campaign for a seat on the State Board of Education by an astonishing 29,000 votes.

We expect to see seemingly forever-bored Hasse in the next election, running for something or another.

Peripatetic Republican Ted Cruz will face Democrat - former NFL linebacker - Colin Alred in November. This may be the only contested election in the Lone Star State, as we project victories for most incumbents - the annoying Cruz not being one of them, however.

The voter turnout could have been better, yes.

But, well, we live in the worst of times, don't we?...You know we do...

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