BLOGGER JIM BARTON: ...He Takes Stuff From Our Response To His Silliness, But Here It Is In Its Entirety...Son, Real News Is Hell...

 

By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

McALLEN, Texas | We've always been competitive. That's the nature of the news business in the Big Time. Here locally, not so much, but we do have our critics and haters - like ever-boring, milquetoast Brownsville Blogger Jim Barton of motel clerk and dockworker fame.

He is shown in photo above, at center.

Earlier, he had posted a rather lame story about how I waste my writing talent, seeming somewhat eager to show me that he appreciated my skill and wished I didn't "destroy" other bloggers.

Then later in morning, he posted his usual attack on me, with dumb photoshopped photos of yours truly, as if that hurts me. I've had critics all my writing life, from actual news reporters too-jealous to be believed to writers of letters-to-the-editor who wished me death and unemployment.

Barton? He's a harmless, spineless minnow.

But here in its entirety is the letter we sent him, just to set things straight since he took only some from it for his attack post:

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. . . "Well, It's Sunday morning, so I'll be kind. First of all, (HA!) I don't see you or Lying Jerry as competitors in even the barest definition of the word. Both you and McHale are largely unaccomplished "pseudo, psychobabble journalists," and Montoya's mostly-Brownsville Herald experience pales against mine. You know it and we all know it.

My anger at you is that you believe yourself to be a newsman, when you're nothing of the sort.

You're a motel/dock worker quick to steal "position," wear homemade PRESS badges and, now, feature ideas off my Blog.

Most of my readers are from McAllen. My use of Brownsville is simply because it lucked out and found itself in the Rio Grande Valley. There is a difference between my hometown of McAllen and Brownsville - a big difference. I just note it occasionally and you go all-Moron.

You're not a reporter, not an educated one, at least. You are the Journalism equivalent of the clowns accused of "Stolen Valor" when posturing themselves as military veterans when they never, like you, served!

And the biggest laugh is that you believe I care what you and El Lying Jerry think of me.

I was written about in The Village Voice and the New York Daily News when I worked in the Big Apple. You think words from you, a Literal Nobody, affect me? Get real, fool!

And I never said shit about your wife in a sexual manner. If I did, it was after you threw that stuff about my "plump" lady friend from Kyle, Texas. She wasn't plump and had great teeth, plus she was a millionaire. All I said was that you should get Ana some dental care. That overbite looks awful.

Finally, I come here (to Jimmy's Laundromat Bulletin Board blog) looking for material for my weekly TACO TUESDAY feature. You (and Lying, Elderly-About-Town Jerry) never disappoint me.

And thanks for the compliments. I've heard that for years, and that's not bragging. You should ask ex-Herald Reporter Rey Guevara-Vasquez about my work for The Houston Post. I got him a job there in the 1980s. He and I even covered the Great Earthquake of 1985 in Mexico City. Rey won't lie, 'cause he's been there in the Big City newsroom. Don't publish this; just paste it on your expansive forehead.

Paz out..."

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There, that's what riled-up Jimmy Boy.

He's an accomplishment loser from way back. Tell us about why your family moved from Washington to the Valley when you were of draft age (and never served). What about your formal education? Did you attend Brownsville High, or did you get a handy GED?

What other jobs have you had? List a few. We all know that your lovely, deserved-better ex-wife Nenny (shown in photo at right), the one whose body you donated to science, worked all her life to help support you, as is doing your current wife, the Filipina Ana.

Go ahead, Tell it all, brother. Impress us with the truth.

It'll free you from that heavy load you carry in your head and on your shoulders, making you look like an elderly, physically-eccentric slob.

The weird "who knows?" word is you're a societal loser and an unaccomplished, balding Old Man. The one you think is your best friend used to call me often and the things he said about you and Ana's "Southmost" appearance would no doubt piss you off.

I say, "Own it all..."

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[EDITOR'S NOTE:...I am a proud U.S. Navy veteran, having served four years of active duty as a Corpsman (medic) - two years with the U.S. Marines, at Camp Pendleton in California and at Camp LeJeune in North Carolina...]