TACO TUESDAY:...73-Year-Old Blogger El Jerry Says, "Oops, Tony!"...75-Year-Old Jim Barton Still The Laggard Blogger...Master Baiters...

 

By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

BROWNSVILLE, Texas | Two weeks after folding in that Bizarro slam job on Texas Southmost College and its welding program, Blogger El Jerry McHale, shown above, is fast working a daily self-rehabilitation effort to get back in good graces with the college administrators he dragged through what can honestly be characterized as outhouse spillage.

El Jerry is praising the Holy Hell of all to do with little TSC, the local junior college he never attended, but quickly grew to loathe.

What was it again, days and days of a mauling TSC's administration following a bit of grumbling by welding students who crowed long & hard that their certificates were worthless and not recognized by the, ahem, prestigious American Welding Society? Oh, and Mac, The Knife also went after the camouflage-attired welding program's director, noting breathlessly that the dude - egads!!! - carried a gun on campus.

Geez, Louise. What became of all of that? We've waited for either the college to respond or the sky to fall. Neither has - or will - happen.

But 73-year-old El Jerry has come around to praising TSC Chair Adela Garza and TSC Trustee Tony Zavaleta - two faces of the college known pretty much to everyone in town and two people who are not about to forgive careless/sloppy blogger El Jerry. I mean, he assigned the nickname of "Zit" to respected Zavaleta! What might he have said about Adela Garza in private, or while table-hopping for friendship at Cobbleheads?

Any news to report, El Jerry?

Well, yes. Yesterday, he posted a generous piece with this headline: "TSC NEARS ONE CENTURY OF A GLORIOUS TRADITION!!!"

We're inspired to call him and ask, "With or without the Welding Recital, El Jerry?"

His personality is such that he'll wipe it off his Old Coot brain after a few beers and hope that people in the city and at the college do, as well.

That's the drill with these low-flying bloggers: Make a mess and move on...

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Well, it wasn't just El Jerry. Slapdash Backbench Blogger Jimmy Barton, shown in file photo above with wife Nena, also had his feet in the still-unresolved TSC fray. Like a salivating groupie, Barton followed every El Jerry anti-TSC post with one of his own, often using wild words to describe the goings-on at the ITEC center, where the welding story lived with The Three Bears.

Barton is an easy mark.

The 75-year-old house husband is a minimum-wage dude who never went to college and, as such, never worked a professional job. We've repeatedly asked him if he even graduated high school, but he never answers. "A GED, Jimmy?" we asked, but, again, no answer. He has written about his many exploits as a grocery store bagger/cashier at some joint known as Glen's Grocery Store on Boca Chica Blvd., as a motel clerk and as a shrimp boat unloader at the Port of Brownsville.

Yeah, that's the heady dude who was ragging degreed college administrators, including Dr. Jesus Rodriguez, the TSC president.

If you check out Barton's blog, you'll notice that he, as well, has been posting pretty positive stuff about TSC. Is it regret? Is it some sort of penitence? Is it an apology. Maybe. But we say the eventual lame backsliding is typical of these two amateurish bloggers. Throw out some dirt at someone you suddenly hate and worry about the makeup kiss later.

Both El Jerry and Jimmy Barton are now kissing TSC ass daily...

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Still at it, yes. County employee Jesus Rosas Jr, no relation to Albert Einstein, is hellbent on winning the job of sheriff of Cameron County. Why?

Rosas does not have the face, height or "look" of a sheriff. You look at him in that goofy mustache and used hat and you say to yourself, "No, not that guy." But he's still a candidate, even as actual Sheriff Eric Garza lives the part.

Law crooner Rosas isn't saying much, not even at hearing that Garza is having his campaign signs made and paid for some Gulf City Rollers over in Matamoros, Mexico. Oh, and now Garza is in alleged receipt of a gold-plated pistol, if we're to believe pro-Mexicans Blogger Johnny Montoya.

Rosas seems to be okay with that stuff.

He's saying nothing.

The McAllen Sun is engaging a poll to find out exactly where Rosas stands in the race, which also has a second challenger in 1950s dude Ronnie Saenz.

Get a cowboy hat, Ronnie!

Ha ha ha...

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TSC Chair Adela Garza, shown in photo above, is still laughing at Blogger El Jerry McHale and Loose Stool Jimmy Barton after their disastrous and impotent attack on the local junior college. It is being said in college circles that Ms. Garza even joked about not laughing this much since the evening she won her last reelection.

The low-flying bloggers are both home treating their anuses with daily Sitz baths.

Who could blame the lovely Adela for saying, "Those two blogging losers pasted a disgruntled welding student's face on their asses and they're having a tough time getting it off!"

Barton is even trying outside showers.

McHale reads Kafka and The McAllen Sun to see where his wacko/do-nothing lifestyle went wrong and all while in the bathtub moving his gluts to and fro, as recommended by his proctologist.

Nothing more came out of the Welding Recital (trouble within the TSC Welding Program, they bellowed day after day after day!) pumped-up as if a world crisis by the two non-Journalists. It's been more than two weeks, and, well, the story seems to have burned out.

Both are now posting pro-TSC material.

Ja ja ja...

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Word has it that a lot of Brownsville women are hitting-up on Google looking for ways to trim the fat. That JELLY ROLL is the bane of the city's sweethearts, according to Google, which logs these things.

Who knows what it means for local men and the future of this luckless border town?

I mean, it's been coming for years and years and years. The thin, in-shape woman is not to be found in Brownsville. And it won't be so long as the local diet is rich in greasy tacos and tamales de puerco.

Name me one man who tells his Brownsville woman what she can and cannot eat.

Tick tock, tick tock.

I'm waiting.

Ha ha ha...

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Bumbling Blogger El Jerry McHale seems to be telling his readers he's back in good graces with Texas Southmost College Trustee Tony Zavaleta after dragging him thru trailer park effluent for weeks, this after El Jerry took complaints about the college's welding program from a few disgruntled students.

That's El Jerry in blue shirt above, with Zavaleta in the background.

There is, however, no word from aggrieved Zavaleta that he, indeed, has mended fences with the ever-lying blogger.

Not one word.

El Jerry, who will be 74 years old in December, has no friends and a life that without blogging would be no life at all.

Oh, and by the way, we checked on his claim to have played football at Sacramento State in his home state of California when younger. He didn't.

The school's Sports Information Director told us he could find no record of a Jerry McHale or a Gerald F. McHale ever playing for the school's team. The Sacramento State University Registrar's Office also told us he had never been enrolled there.

Lying Blogger.

Ha ha ha...

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Yes, Maria. The weather is turning cooler in Brownsville. Even as it remains as the one Rio Grande Valley City that contributes less and less to border culture, it does enjoy the same cooldown its neighboring cities and towns enjoy.

You can walk downtown streets and feel the change in seasons. Dust is still there, but it is a bit cooler thanks to the environment never ever settling in only on the good and hard-working cities. Brownsville should get nothing, of course.

It is the least-productive city in the Valley, the one settlement with the most unaccomplished, under-performing residents.

You spend any amount of time in rotgut Brownsville and you are handed the Map to Nowhere at the City Limits, there handed to you by a person who looks out of sorts with civilization.

Hey, they tell me Charro Days is coming.

Ja ja ja ja...

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The cool & overly-expensive Range Rover is the status symbol in McAllen these days. In Harlingen, it is the utilitarian Ford Bronco.

If you see a car like the one shown in photo above, well, you're in Brownsville.

It is the dumping ground of most of the region's used cars. Dealers take them in trade in neighboring Mexico and then sell them to used car lots in Brownsville, where the market for such vehicles is said to be red-hot.

So, think about that as a potential business for you and your pals.

Used cars or bus shelters, Baby.

That's the ticket.

Ja ja jaja...

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So, yeah, get out and enjoy the cooler weather. Drop by your local taqueria and order a warmed-over six-taco plate of the crispy chicken variety.

You can never go wrong with tacos.

Laterz...

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