TACO TUESDAY:...Fear & Loathing At The Taqueria...

 

By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

BROWNSVILLE, Texas | Would Gilberto Hinojosa, the hairy dude you see in photo above, ever know the feeling of running the football into a beefy, out-to-punish pro football defensive front at the goal line? Uh, we say no, he would not. Hinojosa is one of those comfortable cats in a late stage of his life. Worming himself into the end zone (La Zona Final in Spanish) is no longer his idea of fun.

No, it's not happening. Gilberto isn't even getting the ball.

He's on the team, calling plays and yelling at the referees, but he's not punching the pigskin in for a score. Not in that game. Oh, but you can still find him leading doomed, air-conditioned Texas Democrats to Nowhere. In the Valiumed Rio Grande Valley, those same Democrats are getting their massaged asses kicked more and more by emerging Republicans of the same skin color.

Surprise there?

No, there shouldn't be. Mexicans (okay, Mexican-Americans) in the RGV have found an easy avenue to instant political stardom - switch and go Republican.

We have in the past blamed Mr. Hinojosa for losing even one race in South Texas, where Mexicans (okay, Mexican-Americans) are the dominant population. And it's not as if we expect every resident in the region to be a Democrat, but, you know, for many, many, many years they were.

Gilberto Hinojosa better be prepared and have a winning strategy up his sleeve or 2024 will be his Waterloo.

There are Republicans coming out of the woodwork these days, many of them Democrats only a few weeks and months ago. Is that a bad thing? No. I say that because I also believe South Texas Republicans are not Alabama Republicans. They can't be. Republicans love to throw racist garbage at Blacks and Browns in The South.

Who are the Brown Republicans going to abuse around here?

The Democrats in their own house may be Mom & Dad...

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Chasing that Carlos Cascos via his Facebook page occasionally yields a new conversation vein. He seems to stay up with all news, local, state and national. And his presentation passes muster. He is in the know, as they say.

We wonder: What if Cascos, a former Cameron County Judge and ex-Texas Secretary of State published his own column? Or hosted a podcast? Or contributed opinion articles to the area blogs?

He's bailed on taking a shot at Democrat Vicente Gonzalez in the upcoming 34th Congressional District election, so he likely has the time to chase that idea. Material he already has. After all these years in the political arena, Cascos has a wealth of information.

He should not simply stash it in the back of his mind or closet.

Heady people in Brownsville are rare. Intelligent ones even rarer.

Cascos should do it, but we keep saying it...

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She's probably a nice, kind-hearted woman, but, man, we can't get into her from the far-side-of-the-universe candidacy for Congressman Vicente Gonzalez's job. Laura E. Cisneros, an oncologist, must have an alter ego of astral proportions.

A medical doctor in Congress is like a medical doctor in the National Football League - totally out of his/her element, is what Erasmo "Skip Bayless" Castro messaged me yesterday.

But there she is, still in the race with 14 months to go before the 2024 vote is tallied and she loses bigtime. Yes, you say, give her a chance. We would if we sincerely felt that she had a chance. As a "new" Republican, first she would have to beat wrestling acrobat Mayra Flores in the party primary, which we say is a little girl's Night Before Christmas dream. Not happening, we daresay.

Cisneros against incumbent Vicente Gonzalez? Not even in Heaven.

Whatever cash she is spending leading up to the primary next March is money ill-spent. She may as well throw it away, like by paying the Brownsville bloggers to push her vanity run...

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Jesus Rosas Jr is still in the hunt for the Cameron County sheriff's gig. The hat and mustache, direct from central casting, say so. We don't have a lot of new info on his campaign, but we must say that we can't help but see Eric Garza II in this guy.

Yes, they keep telling us that he has been a ranking administrator at the sheriff's office.

Going on looks puts us at the end of the thin tree branch, but we've been there before with local politicians. Mr. Rosas simply does not fit our imagery of a professional, nor does he speak the articulate words we prefer to hear from a law enforcement type.

Perhaps his gig is that of a security guard at a flea market, which is what he looks like in the photo above. But he does act the part, although it seems as if any Juan, Jesus and Polo can do that in the RGV.

Bring us something new. Be bold and original.

Cowboy hats are always on sale somewhere in town...

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Cameron County Commissioner Sofia Benavides may be getting old (early 70s?), but it is that flavoring of Old School she brings to her post that sets her far apart from the selfish, self-aggrandizing politicians she serves with on the commissioner's court and in Brownsville.

The under-achieving county has precious few public servants who would cut the mustard on our definition of what makes for a good politician. We could name no more than three - Sofia Benavides and Harlingen Mayor Norma Sepulveda in current service and former County Judge Carlos Cascos.

We've been hearing that the Rio Grande Valley is a veritable occupied den of vain, gimme-gimme-gimme low-brow politicians.

Miss Sofia Benavides is not among them...

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Sheriff candidate Ronnie Saenz is still hatless, as in he is not walking about wearing a cowboy hat and looking all-loco like his opponents in the upcoming law enforcement election. But the flanker back-sized Saenz ought to get rid of that hair over his upper lip.

It's 2023 and only dying nursing home dudes go for facial hair.

Someone get this guy some Gillette blades and tell him he'll actually look more professional and less like Sheriff Eric Garza's brother.

In politics, it's the little things that often make a difference.

Mustaches never do...

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So, how's that microwaved CBS show coming along? Anything new on the Dead Channel? We keep marveling at how this guy gets so much attention when he's done nothing. Nothing, as in never won an election and never grown some freaking hair.

Bald dudes get their aging brains fried faster by the blistering sun, is what the boys at the bar keep saying when asked about those damned cowboy hats you see all across the horse-less Rio Grande Valley.

Capt. Bob Sanchez, the ever-smiling, ever-chirping dude in the photo, keeps on keeping on.

We say that El Capitan should take his "show" on the road and do it from every peso-fueled dumphole in Brownsville.

We can already hear Don Pardo say, no scream: "Frooooooommmmm Downtown!!! It's...Caaaaaaaptain....Bobbbbbbbbb!!!"

Eh. Whatever...

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