Got Hamburger Meat?...

 

By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

BROWNSVILLE, Texas | A few years back, before the 2019 pandemic, local blogger Jerry McHale wrote to the topic of "How To Pick Up Women" in Brownsville. He went on and on and on, as is his writing wont, but in the end what he said was that all you needed to entice a hug-needy Babe was a pound of hamburger meat.

I wonder if he'd say the same thing today.

Yes, he would, only the HEB freak might not go with a pound, but with two or three. You think? We do not recall asking him how the burger meat played into romance, or whether, if we did, he said anything in reply. Knowing him, McHale likely only threw back his familiar shit-eating grin.

Women are different in different parts of our geography. McHale favored (likely still does) Hispanic women. His three wives were Hispanics, although we should add that the overwhelming number of playful, available women here are Hispanic.

"Be brown and be down," goes the line in the pick-up bars, of which there are more than normal in this Cameron County city of some 200,000 residents.

Anyway, why I remembered that bit about Mac and the ground meat is the mystery. I had a crispy chicken sandwich for lunch.

Perhaps he'll update the Love-is-in-the-air meat requirement on his blog.

I know this: You could not get an aging divorcee with a mere pound of hamburger meat in Harlingen. And McAllen cops would arrest you if you tried it in The City of Palms...

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