TACO TUESDAY:..The Lies Of Dairy Neck Blogger Jim Barton...Go BVM Chargers!!! ...Rassmo Meets TSC Abuser Jerry McHale...Rosas Not for Sheriff...So Long, Kunk...

 

By DUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

BROWNSVILLE, Texas |...That Nebbish Blogger Jim "Little Hands" Barton, shown above in the unsightly Dairy Neck, called me a liar the other day. Something about the reader comments on this blog. The 76-year-old lifelong minimum-wage laborer forgets that it was he who claimed to be a direct descendant of American Red Cross founder Clara Barton.

He wasn't.

Homely Clara never married or had children. In fact, she shacked up all her adult life with some dude. "Little Hands" Barton (he ragged on Donald Trump about his smallish hands) claimed that lineage? Well, yes, he did. On his soporose blog. Then we showed him the Bio info on Clara, and he quickly deleted the post making the lying claim. It's who he is - a lying loser eager to claim any sort of success story. Next, being originally from the northwest, he'll perhaps say he's from the Sacajawea side of the family.

House husband Barton, on wife support, has no college degree, did not serve in the military and spent many years in Brownsville working at a grocery store, at a motel and taking day jobs at the Port of Brownsville unloading shrimp boats.

He has some diseased nerve criticizing anything I do. I graduated from college, served in the U.S. Navy and worked my profession for almost 30 years with some of the biggest news organizations in this country. Lying, heavyset Barton likes to write that my jobs were temporary in nature, but all he has to do is ask himself if primo outfits such as The Associated Press, The Houston Post, The Boston Globe and The New York Post would have hired me after my being fired or seeing bad reviews of my writing?

Uneducated Barton does not know the news business from a layer of fat-heavy flesh covering his expansive, belly-like neck.

Poor dude. He never accomplished much, leaving a bit of the carrying to his late wife, Nenny - the one who died in 2018 and whose body he donated to science. Who knows where Nenny went! How does he sleep at night?

In any case, we keep monitoring his comatose blog, looking for a spark of sorts to tell us that he's worth our looksee. Mostly, as we have said before, his blog is a Laundromat Bulletin Board. Nothing heady, but with a lot of misspellings and bad grammar, the result of his lack of formal education.

His current wife, an immigration-lucky Filipina, is currently in the outs of Nevada while he languishes along the Texas-Mexico border, perhaps wondering what exactly it is that she may be doing all by her lonesome out west. Elderly, 75-year-old Barton seems to have a mind quick to wander. Mostly, from what we have seen, it goes awry even when engaged in basic, ordinary thought process. He could get some bad ideas that she's up to no good, sure.

Anything is possible with this seemingly useless, women-dependent lout.  

Oh, well. We don't have the time to save his pedestrian life.

Have Nurse Wife, Will Travel reads the masthead of his low-altitude blog. 

Well, his wife is a nurse or sorts, and she is travelling. He isn't. He's festering in Olde Brownsville.    

This past week, the pipsqueak floated a number of darts at us. I say floated because they didn't quite zoom, like when a real man fires those suckers. Indeed, I see him as one fatso acting as if the Four Horsemen of Calumny - Fear, Ignorance, Dumbness and Smear.

Then came his defense of the indefensible. Slothy Barton is not a veteran, as we have noted, and he likes to equate veterans with conscientious objectors, his ilk. We keep asking him why he did not serve his country and he never answers. We even labeled him a draft dodger and his reply was: "I dodged nothing..." Yeah, cowardly, isn't it?

At best, Jimmy Boy Barton, a colorless figure from way back, is a Twisted Intellectual Poser, twisted being the more important word there.

Wretched burlesque is his shit-stained calling card...

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Can you say Chargermania? It's here ahead of Friday's historic Fourth Round, State Playoffs clash against mighty, undefeated Corpus Christi Miller at magnetic Sams Stadium. Are you ready for some football?! You'd better be.

This is the deepest playoff ball for any Brownsville high school football team. Ever.

How 'bout Dem Brownsville Veterans Memorial High Chargers?!!!

They go into the Big Game with a misleading record of 11-2, having lost two early-season games to San Benito (28-21) and to the lowly PSJA Bears (31-21). Lately, however, they have played like the Bart Starr-led Green Bay Packers of Super Bowl I - tough, steady and on-assignment, as coaches like to say at halftime.

Big plays. Rough, punishing defense.

Miller comes in undefeated at 13-0 after walloping most of their season's opposition. They are a high-scoring team, and it sort of leads us to say this will be either a game in the 40s for both teams or a tight sumbitch all the way to the last seconds of the game - maybe even overtime.

The Chargers may have two early-season losses, but it says here that was a whole other squad. As even the rubes say in sports bars coast-to-coast, these guys learned to win together. Boys, that shellacking of undefeated, 7th-ranked PSJA North last weekend was no fluke. The Chargers performed like a well-oiled, tortilla-conveying machine.

Let's see if the entire town supports them.

Brownsville lives a fatalistic existence in which everything to do with life is supposed to end up in defeat. These kids should be kept away from their fathers and uncles, or anyone in their immediate social circle who can only remember losing at everything.

We're pulling for the exciting Chargers, as we would pull for any other Valley team still playing this deep into the state championship playoffs. So many area teams have taken it up the wazoo from bigger, faster upstate teams that, well, we tire of seeing and reading about it.

Come on, Browntown. Show a little appreciation. Get wild going into - and during - the game!!!

That 1961 Donna High Redskins team that won the only State Title ever won by a Rio Grande Valley football team was not supposed to win those games, and especially not against Quanah High in the Finals.

It can happen...

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Into photography or quaint, character-building apartments? Come to laid-back Brownsville. It is the only city in the Rio Grande Valley able to draw on a documentable wild history of love and pain. The most famous border savior/bandit - one Juan Nepu Cortina - loved his Brownsville.

Juan could not have made his name as a defender of all-things-Mexican while living in, say, Harlingen or McAllen. No, not quite the same thing, is it?

The building you see in the photo above was taken this week by an anonymous photographer (walkabout Jim Barton), and we're driven to ask why it's still standing. Raze the sumbitch before it falls on some bus riders looking for shelter from the heat or cold! It's a tragedy waiting to happen, Maria.

Look at it.

Sheesh. Where are the goons from Code Enforcement? Or, well, is it owned by some local bigwig with major influence at City Hall? The strolling photographer didn't bother to wonder or to ask. We could name the photographer, but why shame the ashamed? (again, kids: Jimmy Boy Barton)

Anyway, dare to walk the older streets of Brownsville for that "Living Tour of Yesteryear"...

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TACO TUESDAY laid-off goofy sheriff's candidate Jesus Rosas Jr last week. He's got more than enough on his campaign paper plate to deal with, is what we told ourselves. Things are not going well for the mustachioed rookie candidate.

Opponent Ronnie Saenz has leaped ahead of him in the South Texas Imbecile Journalists Association's (STIJA) latest poll. Worse yet, that places cowboy-hatted Rosas, shown in color photo above, even farther behind incumbent Cameron County Sheriff Eric Garza.

Rosas, we see, is exhibiting a bit of the same Dairy Neck we see in local blogger Jimmy Boy Barton.

How will that play on Election Night?

It could get weird, especially if Ronnie or Eric make that neck an issue. We've heard of runners winning by an outstretched neck, but losing by a Dairy Neck?

We'll see...

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Civilization in Brownsville still depends largely on a relatively small number of people. It is the few who shoulder the hard work necessary to keep the city moving. A whole boatload of others just laugh things off, snickering at local fuckups and failures.

Two of the local gents who laugh way too much are shown in photo above.

On the left is perennial political candidate Erasmo Castro, a man of God, it would seem. At his warm abrazo side is Elderly-About-Town blogger Jerry McHale, who looks as if he just keeps aging and aging and aging into a fleshy face we - and perhaps others - no longer recognize. It could just be his advancing age, yes, so sorry for the microscoping of his chipmunk cheeks and expanding jowls. He has no upper lip?...

Gabby podcaster-cum-preacher Castro will laugh through anything, hurricanes included. McHale needs a good laugh after that reporting debacle that had him wanting to sink Texas Southmost College by way of two disgruntled students of the school's welding program.

The 74-year-old McHale (in two weeks or so) and third-tier blogger Jimmy Boy Barton did their best to destroy TSC, arguing in postings week after week after week that the students had been wronged when their welding certificate did not pass American Welding Society muster.

The blogging losers could have seen the problem of their angles by simply knowing that even completion of U.T Law School gives you nothing. You still have to pass the bar.

McHale slinked away without apology; Barton simply did not have the smarts to ever figure it out.

The entire malodorous mess is now well-hidden under shag carpeting at Barton's apartment, we're told by laughing McHale...

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He's still dead last in the Republican Party's stable of unstable candidates for the 34th Congressional District seat. Greg Kunkle is the lad's name.

We wanted to feature the party's favorite - Miss Mayra Flores - but we could not get a recent photo of her. Kunkle posts photos of himself every day on his Facebook page.

Anyway, The Kunk did nothing this week to separate himself from fog or ennui.

He's not going away, but he is definitely losing when his party's faithful show up to vote in the make-or-break March 5, 2024 Primary. The Kunk will be beaten like a chump local wrestler again, as he was during the last election. If only he would say something we could believe came from his own brain and not that of the Talking Heads on FOX News.

Brain farts seem to follow him around.

A local seafood eatery would say this to him: "Sorry, Kunk. We only take the best tuna"...

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TACO TUESDAY out...

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