TACO TUESDAY:...Welding Recital Wanes?..."El Rambo" Incommunicado?...Neece Is A No Go?...Questions Abound...

 

By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

BROWNSVILLE, Texas | Fess-up now. For a split second, you thought you were seeing TSC Trustee Tony Zavaleta-Reid dragging nauseating blogger Jerry McHale under that fence. You know you did. It's okay. You can be excused. El Jerry has earned the disgust he is now feeling from everyone in town. Tony Zavaleta has not forgiven him, and El Jerry has upped the ante by assigning the incongruous nickname of "Zit" to his once-close friend.

You can now picture them inside a small boxing ring, El Jerry and his glass jaw in one corner and bullish Tony in the other. Don't look away; this fight will not last long. Dancing, feigning El Jerry, shown with odd mustache in photo below, will be caught with a vicious overhand right and it'll be his wrinkling face on the canvas in the opening seconds of the first round. Yeah, we were there, Jerry!

The word "Friendship" generally has a meaning in most places. Not in Brownsville, however.

Here, a friend is a day-to-day thing. Ask ex-Mayor Pat Ahumada about his on & off friendship with pro-Mexicans Blogger Juan Montoya. Ask former Mayor Juan "Trey" Mendez and the same Montoya. Ask McHale and the same, again, Montoya. Ha ha ha. There's a clear pattern there.

And we're not even mentioning the local women. Maria, it's a moving hair-pulling Armageddon up and down the streets of Brownsville, Baby.

It'll be a few cold beers before Tony Zavaleta forgives loose-wheel McHale, a blogger without class or borders, one known far and wide in town as a blogger who would burn the mother of his children at the drop of a $300 grocery store tab.

But we're coming up on the festive Holiday Season, so anything is possible. The ever-hating McHale could stumble into his beloved Cobbleheads eatery and see taller, stockier, stronger Tony sitting there. Uh, don't do it, Jerry.

Not if you like your remaining teeth...

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Ben Neece, perhaps the Valley's last answer to guitarist Carlos Santana, apparently is not biting on that hard push looking to see him run for an unpaid seat on the Texas Southmost College Board of Trustees. The happy-go-lucky Neece has not said a word or taken any action indicating he's interested.

No surprise there.

What does Neece, an accomplished musician and former city commissioner, want with - or from - the local junior college - blog infamy?

We're pretty sure he's heard of the emergency somersaults his pal Tony Zavaleta is having to endure thanks to their blog friend (former, in the case of Tony) El Jerry McHale, he of the "Hate is my best friend" lifestyle. Can you imagine a slam job by the sloppy blogger on Neece?

Holy Moley on that one.

I mean, Ben is the one who gave El Jerry the itsy-bitsy of credence he has a downtown troubadour with that cien pesos Mercado de Matamoros acoustic guitar of his. El Jerry is no Peter Tork of The Monkees! No, not even. They may sort of resemble each other from a distance, but no, no - El Jerry is a musical poser, a desperate wannabe, yes.

No question about it. Has anyone heard his guitar strings plunking?

Man, someone get him some plastic strings before he strums like a crazed culero and kills himself.

As for Ben, well, suffice it to say that we hear he's into his retirement years as things relate to politics and local blogging. It's a guess, yes, but an educated guess.

Plus, we'll go on a limb and add that, like Tony Zavaleta, the non-nonsense Neece will not be seen at El Jerry's funeral. But do look for fawning blogging foil Jimmy Barton to be there.

He'll be asked to sing something fake befitting El Jerry's lying, always-bitching blog, like a bad, bad rendition of "Wooly Bully."

Yeah, Matty told Hatty...

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Speaking of Jimmy Barton (that's the aging 75-year-old Washington transplant taking a shower outdoors in photo above), he seems to have quickly faded from that excitable story he backed into to do with the welding program over at the aforementioned Texas Southmost College.

What - no story today?!

No, he's into immigration now. As with his typing, Barton is once again all over the place. He has no formal training in news journalism, so it's to be expected. He has no college degree, so maybe he can't even tell himself that. But he's likely making plans to wrap up the stinging tale of corruption at TSC, waiting and being there next year, the following year, the next five to ten years.

Corny grows you, Jimmy Boy. 

He doesn't know it, but Barton is a walking glue stick. So long as he stays close to other Brownsville bloggers, well, he thinks he's one of them. They do talk about him (we have been on the receiving end of some interesting calls) and it's not something Barton would wish to know. Poor guy. He sooooooo-oh wants to belong, to join-in on the general garrulity, but, as for reporting ability, the lad simply does not have the scopious knowledge learned only through real newsroom experience.

All these two yoyos (Barton and McHale) are selling is a bankrupt carnival.

His main pal - fellow Anglo El Jerry - praises him to no end, as is El Jerry's wont with everybody whose stories/copy he uses for his photos, depression & jokes blog.

Barton believes it, falls for it, forgetting that the other local bloggers are players from way, way, way back - from a time when Barton was bagging stuff at Glen's Grocery Store on Boca Chica Blvd. and, later working a motel desk while also unloading shrimp boats at the Port of Brownsville.

That he thinks he's their equal is all in his head.

You would've had to be there at Blanca White's in Matamoros, the Resaca Club at Fort Brown or Studio 5 near Amigoland Mall, picking up women after deadline. No, Barton was not there with El Jerry or third blogger Juan Montoya.

He was cashiering at the grocery store...

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Has this guy said anything to do with the Welding Recital gifted to the city by Bloggers El Jerry McHale and Jimmy Boy Barton? We haven't seen anything resembling affirmation or denial of the overly-excitable allegations made by the non-journalist bloggers.

What sayeth Kenneth "Rambo" Tynan, shown in photo above.    

Geez, Maria, this is the Texas Southmost College dude (director of the department offering the welding classes in question) both bloggers banked on for their overland drive, and he has not risen to either substantiate their unconfirmed reporting or denied it.

Rambo ain't takin'.

Too bad for the amateur bloggers, as they are left holding the proverbial 73 and 75-year-old scrotum bag. We would have told them to chase this guy down, to pin him down for an interview in which he answered to the many allegations. I mean, the bloggers were writing about "crooked" administrators (the school pres!) and about guns being holstered while on campus.

Rambo said nuthin'.

Still, they typed and typed and typed and typed.

For nothing, it seems...

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We have been surprised by how quiet blogger Juan Montoya (shown above) has been in the wake of all the tepid, over-seasoned menudo thrown by his fellow bloggers at his old school - Texas Southmost College. For some reason, we were pretty sure Montoya would fire back at plebe bloggers El Jerry McHale and Jimmy Boy Barton.

Apparently, we were wrong.

Montoya has written not one word beyond a non-bylined defense that appeared on his blog soon after the first anti-TSC salvo hit Brownsville. We do know that Montoya has a soft spot for TSC and for TSC Board Chair Adela Garza.

But, no, nothing.

What could be behind the decision to stonewall the issue, to act as if the allegations are not out there swimming every gravesite-sized pothole and brackish-water resaca in town. It's a mind number. As in numbing, we mean.

Oh, well. Perhaps Juan is onboard with the idea that his blogging mates will tire of not nailing the story and move on to something else, like the upcoming Charro Days Festival. It's a political move we know, so, yeah, maybe that's it.

It's too bad, we say.

So many buckets of mud lobbed at the attractive Ms. Garza and at respected TSC board member Tony Zavaleta and at school President Dr. Jesus Rodriguez and no return fire or fire extinguisher spray.

Is it like it never happened for TSC?

The ever-crusading Montoya is cool with that?

Yeah...

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She's still the one to beat. Information may be slithering across town saying her opponents are gaining on her, but that's wishful thinking. Republican Mayra Flores is on schedule to win the Republican party's primary ahead of an anticipated second showdown with Democrat Vicente Gonzalez for his 34th Congressional District seat.

Bet on it. Bank it.

Believing that opponents Laura E. Cisneros, Mauro Garza, Gregory Kunkle and anyone else has the gunpowder to waylay Flores is to believe in welding scandals a bit more than they would deserve.

Vicente Gonzales is smartly planning on battling Mayra Flores, not some unknown or "New Republican" candidate who voted Democrat in the most recent election. Only a novice pundit would denigrate Flores.

She is backed by the well-funded Republican National Committee!

(BTW, Allen West is not chairman of the Texas Republican Party, as sloppy Blogger El Jerry McHale noted in a story knocking Mayra Flores on Monday; Matt Rinaldi is.)

Not any of the other hopeful dolts, no. Not that we back her, but Mayra Flores has the lungs to raise Hell from here until, well, Hell Freezes Over. You know it and I know it.

Wishing for a horse race in the primaries is a blogger's dream, yes.

But healthy brains will rid you of any sort of desire for a close race or an upset. It says here that Mayra Flores will be the Republican nominee in November 2024. Don't believe it?

Ask Texas Republican Gov. Greg Abbott...

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These culinary delicacies in the photo above are the absolutely delicious Birria Tacos, known far and wide as the National Food of Mexico's provincias... 

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