HALLOWEEN:...Tired Of Playing The Game..."Great Pumpkin" Lashes Out...

 

STAFF REPORT

McALLEN, Texas | It's been coming for years. As they say in fading love and old leather shoes, things have a nasty habit of catching up with reality. Love dies; shoes rot.

The pumpkin is tired of being carved up for cheap, not-even ghastly Halloween jokes. Take your knife to your own face.

"I was born for pumpkin pie, not for scaring anyone. The bullshit is over."

And so, humans began looking at the watermelon.

They knew they could always paint it orange and keep carving...

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