CANDIDATES:...Cowboy Hats In The Horseless Valley...

 

By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

BROWNSVILLE, Texas | Word comes that hats are being readied for any would-be candidate for county sheriff. Cowboying is in, say the proponents of the western wear. Want instant endorsement? Buy a hat, take a photo wearing it and hand it out at will.

You will immediately gain some sort of border credibility. Or, as cops and deputies know that word, "da cred."

Cameron County Sheriff Eric Garza got one after winning election four years ago, this after serving as district clerk, where he didn't need a cowboy hat. Since then, Garza has been a literal cowpuncher any West Texas ranch would like to have, if only for photos showing a Mexican at work.

Into the pig-smelling corral that is the candidate's circle has come Jesus Rosas, Jr.

He, too, wears a cowboy hat. And he, too, looks quite dumb in it, like some downtown vato who saw his first episode of Gunsmoke and said, "Hey, ese, why not me?"

Rosas wants to be sheriff just to wear the hat, is what his brother told us. Well, no, that's not true, although wouldn't it be nice for us if the brother had come forward. Does fullback-model Rosas even have a brother? He has cowboy hats. We're sure of that.

He's not in the race for sheriff yet, but we expect one John Chambers, the guy Eric Garza beat in the last election, to jump in any day now. Chambers wears - you guessed it - cowboy hats. His is the look not of Matt Dillon or Wyatt Earp but of some chubby white guy who wants to look a little taller in his boots and Stetson.

Voters know about this, dudes.

Geez, Louise. Someone get a freakin' Charro hat, okay?

The other Mexican in the sheriff's race is someone named Ronnie Saenz. There was a time when Ronnie was short for Veronica, but perhaps no more. As my galpal Melissa Zamora might say about here, "Quien sobby?"

We're hip to wanting to belong to something or another as a politician.

But, boys, the cowboy hat is not in vogue. Maybe in Austin, where everybody is after a woman like Laura Olson, the attorney general's sweetheart. But in Cameron County, well, who are these dudes trying to impress - each other?

If this crazy-dumb trend moves across the local political landscape, should we expect to see Mayor John Cowen in a cowboy hat? He'd have a few good reasons to do it, as, for one, he is very bald.

No, we say everybody take their cowboy hats off and toss them to the kids in the neighborhoods.

Walking around looking like a nameless background extra for some high-powered TV western only devalues your candidacy. Endorse one of these drugstore cowboys? Not happening.

The cowboy hat, we have learned, is a symbol of courage, strength, and self-reliance.

We don't see that in any of these fake cowboy candidates...

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SUN SPORTS:...Boys Kick Hell Outta NY Jets...And The Ball...

 

STAFF REPORT

ARLINGTON, Texas | You watch the Dallas Cowboys play on TV and you always expect offensive fireworks. Bullet Bob Hayes streaking down the sidelines after a pass from Dandy Don Meredith. Receivers Lance Rentzel and Lance Alworth doing the same. Troy Aikman hitting Michael Irvin, The Playmaker for the win.

Sunday's game was supposed to see the dog-ass Cowboys open up the offense. Or, uh, that's what Head Coach Mike McCarthy told reporters ahead of the team's game at home against the New York Jets.

The offense in the 30-10 victory?

Five field goals.

Yeah, two passing TDs by QB Dak Prescott, but five field goals was all the fans got.

Still, it was a win and Da Boys are now 2-0 for the season.

For a play-by-play wrap-up, go to some other website. We are covering the game results primarily, mainly because it's a damned long 17-game season and the adjectives get old. But there is one stat that grabs at us and likely will grab at you, you die-hard Cowboys groupie.

Da Boys have beaten both New York teams (NY Giants last weekend) by a combined score of 70-10. That's a load of offense.

But Sunday, it was five boring field goals that padded the final score...

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THE PAXTON FILES:...Texas AG Gets His Job And Mistress Back...Is That It?...

 

By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

McALLEN, Texas | We're not going to re-hash the trial's particulars. History will do that enough. Our take on the "Acquitted" verdicts that came after Texas Attorney General Kan Paxton's trial is an expected one - he is soiled and should take no damned pleasure from not being expelled.

The 60-year-old Paxton came out with his usual strong, "fuck you all" statement about his acquittal, which was to be expected. He's led a charmed political life, as we often write here. Let that self-serving statement he handed to the press stay in its overnight grave; we're not publishing it here.

What must be said, Dear Texans, is that this hangnail trial was all a Republican move, play and result.

Democrats were the so-called curious onlookers, the guys on the sidewalk as the circus rolled into town. We had wondered about why Republicans would bring a case against one of their own. Entitled Paxton has been MAGA Republican since the election of Donald J. Trump in 2016! To expect a well-settled domestic and public life from this guy was to expect Leave It To Beaver come to life.

He's back on the job as Texas Attorney General after a three-month suspension.

And we also know that he has a sort of vengeful personality, so we should pity his office's entire staff. Many of them turned on him when he started doing it all for his benevolent backer, the shady real estate mogul Nate Paul, a dude so present under the FBI's microscope that any super tiny-ass germ would be as visible as Mt. Fuji.

No, we don't expect anything to change. Even Republican Gov. Greg Abbott welcomed him back. So much for accountability and great expectations. Ken Paxton won and to the winners go the spoils. That may include a continuation of his sexual acrobatics with the mistress in the story who never got to testify - one 50-year-old Laura Olson (shown in photos at above and below).

Has there been even a remote apology from Paxton? Anything resembling one?

Is Mrs. Paxton, Angela, a state senator, going to say a word or two about his wanton, very public infidelity? He threw it in her face! Everybody knows the salacious story. We don't expect her to, because he, too, is a Republican and they don't always play the societal game we all have to. If she suffered her fool in midnight weepings, well, she'll likely keep doing it. At 60 years old, Angela Paxton's too old to think divorce and the singles scene one more time.

Laura Olson, married and divorced four times, no doubt knows her role in Texas politics. We'll leave it at that.

It's a sad day for Texas, actually.

Its attorney general, the top lawman in the state, is a rotten dude whose record does not lie. He helps his friends in fights against his very own federal government. Paxton uses the color of the office for self-gain and personal fights. For being good at this, we pay him.

Tomorrow begins another day.

Playboy A.G. Ken Paxton will rise with the sun and thank his lucky stars.

He'll perhaps round it out by giving Laura Olson a call...after kissing his wife and wishing her a nice day.

Some attorney general...

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SUN SPORTS...Ragged Horns Club Wyoming, 31-10...Club?...

 

STAFF REPORT

AUSTIN, Texas | It wasn't pretty, but it was a win. What else can you say about a game as boring as fog. That was Texas vs. Wyoming, a yawner of the first order. The score, 31-10, speaks of an easy win, but it was tighter than, as Billy Ocean would sing, painted-on jeans on some lovely honey.

Spare me the yards passed and yards rushed stuff; I was watching it at a bar full of Horns fans who seemed to whoop and holler with every play, a shitty eight-yard gain or a run-of-the-mill gang tackle.

This blurb from statesman.com: [ For the first time since 2012, the Texas football team is 3-0.

Not that keeping that unblemished record intact was easy. Texas had to outlast an unexpected challenge from Wyoming in a 31-10 win at Royal-Memorial Stadium on Saturday night. The Longhorns entered this game as a heavy favorite, but needed a fourth-quarter scoring spree to break a tie with Wyoming (2-1) and secure the victory.

Texas opens Big 12 play next week at Baylor (1-2). ]

Well, sure, Go Horns!

Baylor has nothing this season so that should also be one for feeling the effects of a Valium tablet or two, as they like to say, no, scream, in crazed-excitement-at-every-turn Emergency Rooms across this grass-whorled country...

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SUN SPORTS:...Overtime! Colorado Slips Past Instate Rival, 43-35...

 

STAFF REPORT

BOULDER, CO. | Watching a football game at a sports bar generally is said to be a little better than doing it at home on the old, familiar couch. The weird thing last night while catching the Colorado vs. Colorado State thriller at Harvey's on 10th was that closing time was approaching fast there near the end.

But what a game, Maria!

Baby, it don't get no better'n this.

The Buffs took it 43-35 in double overtime just as I was being told my tab was being readied. Shit, I think I said, do it! Where to begin on the wrap-up?

The late scores, touchdown passes by Colorado QB Shedeur Sanders? Well, yes. Those comebacks again and again against a wildly-inspired Colorado State Rams squad? Sure. Sometimes, game statistics get in the way of telling the overall tale of struggle and eventual victory.

In the end, perhaps it was the old homefield advantage. Who knows?

But the U of Colorado earned this one. Three and Oh now.

That's all that matters, isn't it?...

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TRIALS:...Ken Paxton NOT GUILTY!!!...Texas Attorney General Back In Office...

 

By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

AUSTIN, Texas | The charmed life of Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton will proceed as it always has - that trial on 16 charges that included abuse of office led to a Not Guilty verdict today.

A Texas Senate jury says he can get back to work.

Paxton was suspended last May, when the Texas House voted to bring charges against him after an investigation yielded a mountain of information that spoke to Paxton being a loose cannon and using his office to aid friends in exchange for gifts.

The 60-year-old Republican did not testify during his impeachment trial. At the heart of the matter was a pattern that saw Paxton help and keep helping his friend and donor Nate Paul, an Austin real estate investor. Paxton’s defense attorneys had said all of his disputed actions were within his purview as an elected official, asserted that no accusations were proven beyond a reasonable doubt and urged senators to return the attorney general to work.

The case had all the angles of a TV drama, with word of an in-house rebellion by staff attorneys who questioned much of Paxton's relationship with Paul and which ultimately led them to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, where they submitted "whistleblower" complaints.

The attorneys were then summarily dismissed. They filed a lawsuit and won a $3.3 million settlement.

It was the payout that started the mess for Paxton, as he sought to get Texas taxpayers to cover the hefty settlement. Texas legislators balked at doing that and then began their investigation, which led to Paxton's suspension and eventual trial.

There was also the sub-plot that had Paxton seeing a mistress named Laura Olson, a four-times divorced 50-year-old. The allegation was that Paxton had Paul to give her a job as a way to keep her in town. Miss Olson had been scheduled to testify, but her appearance was cancelled. Paxton's wife, Angela, played the part of the tragic wife.

A state senator representing her district centered in McKinney, a Dallas suburb, 60-year-old Angela Paxton was there daily, listening to testimony with fellow senators. We looked for but could not find reaction to the verdict from her.

Ahead of the vote, Rep. Andrew Murr, R-Junction, one of the House impeachment managers, told senators that Paxton's defense lawyers "have blindly ignored the fact that he ultimately served one person: himself."

Ken Paxton may celebrate this particular victory, but he has pending problems. He faces trial on charges of securities fraud dating back to 2015.

A federal investigation that came after Paxton's senior aides reported him to the FBI in 2020, alleging crimes similar to these impeachment charges has reached a grand jury in San Antonio. That potential criminal indictment carries far higher stakes than impeachment.

Fighting to stay in office is one thing; doing it to remain out of prison is altogether another...

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The jury's vote on the articles of impeachment were:

Article 1, disregard of official duty: Acquitted

Article 2, disregard of official duty: Acquitted

Article 3, disregard of official duty: Acquitted

Article 4, disregard of official duty: Acquitted

Article 5, disregard of official duty: Acquitted

Article 6, disregard of official duty: Acquitted

Article 7, misapplication of public resources: Acquitted

Article 8, disregard of official duty: Acquitted

Article 9, constitutional bribery: Acquitted

Article 10, constitutional bribery: Acquitted

Article 15, false statements in official records: Acquitted

Article 16, conspiracy and attempted conspiracy: Acquitted

Article 17, misappropriation of public resources: Acquitted

Article 18, dereliction of duty: Acquitted

Article 19, unfitness for office: Acquitted

Article 20, abuse of public trust: Acquitted

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REPUBLICANS:...One Is Fondled...Yeah, Boebert...

 

By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

McALLEN, Texas | The semi-attractive Republican congresswoman was being fondled at a showing of the haunting musical Beetlejuice in Denver. Fondled by a Democrat, the press breathlessly reported. Oh, man. This after trial-related info about outside-the-marriage sexual Olympics enjoyed by troubled Republican Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton?

Why, yes, Maria. Yes. Republicans also like sex. Wherever they can get it.

Firebrand politician Lauren Boebert was the star attraction in the audience during the musical performance, there having her lovely breasts caressed by Democrat Quinn Gallagher, a Colorado businessman. The video, and photos taken from the black & white theater video, are all over the Internet, so much so that the 36-year-old Boebert has issued an apology.

This from the conservative dailymail.com: [ Lauren Boebert, who became a grandma earlier this year aged 36, blamed her divorce and the anxiety of being out in public after she was caught heavy-petting with "Democrat " boyfriend Quinn Gallagher, waving her hands, singing loudly, using flash photography and vaping.

After being ejected from the show last Sunday, she asked an usher "Do you know who I am?" and gave a staffer the finger. But she made a startling U-turn late Friday night blaming her behavior on her "public and difficult divorce."

"The past few days have been difficult and humbling, and I'm truly sorry," she wrote in a statement. "There's no perfect blueprint for going through a public and difficult divorce, which over the past few months has made a challenging personal time for me and my entire family.'

We looked for but could find no comment from fondler boyfriend Gallagher, who seemed, well, too-happy working Boebert's nice, supple tits. Perhaps later today, eh, Quinn?

Boebert's time in Congress has been just as dramatic, but we've told those stories here before.

No, none about fondling, or, well, sexy, totally doable Boebert being fondled.

The theater lights were down, we should note.

Perhaps that inspired touchy-touchy Democrat Gallagher...

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SUN SPORTS:...After Goofy Midweek Dustup, Colorado Tackles Colorado State...

 

STAFF REPORT

BOULDER, CO. | It's personal. That's what Colorado Buffaloes Head Coach Deion Sanders said about tonight's game against also-ran Colorado State. This came after Sanders caught some trash from CSU Head Coach Jay Norvell about his style.

Norvell wondered why Sanders, an NFL Hall of Famer, wears his hat and shades when doing interviews with sportswriters and other media. Sanders likely wished to only concern himself with readying his #18-ranked Buffaloes for the contest.

Colorado State, located in Fort Collins up near the Wyoming border, comes into the game with an 0-1 record, having lost its opener to Washington State 50-24.

The Buffaloes are 2-0, having beaten TCU 45-42 and Nebraska 36-10.

The Buffs are favored over the CSU Rams by 24 points in tonight's game, according to bookies in Las Vegas. The game is being broadcast by ESPN...

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SUN SPORTS:...Horns Host Wyoming Cowboys Tonight...

 

STAFF REPORT

AUSTIN, Texas | This early in the football season, a 2-0 record doesn't mean much. There's still a long, long way to go before the games get serious. But Texas meets Wyoming tonight and both teams walk into Darrell K. Royal Stadium undefeated.

Texas, ranked # 4, is favored.

The Wyoming Cowboys come off an impressive 35-33 win over Texas Tech after beating lowly Fresno State 30-0 in their season opener.

The Longorns whipped Rice 37-10 two weeks ago and then whomped the always-tough Alabama Crimson Tide 34-24 in Tuscaloosa last weekend.

The game is being broadcast on The Longhorn Network...

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TRIALS:...Texas AG Paxton Awaits Verdict...In Or Out?...

 

By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

AUSTIN, Texas | Ken Paxton waits. The usually energetic current Texas Attorney General has spent the last two weeks worrying about expulsion from an office he has held since 2015. He's on trial in the Texas Senate for abuse of official powers.

Testimony in the impeachment trial ended at noon yesterday, with senators serving as jury considering the charges through 8:00 PM last night. They recessed without a verdict and will resume deliberations this morning.

Paxton had skipped attending the trial most of this past week, but was present yesterday. His wife Angela (see photo below), a state senator representing a constituency in McKinney, also was in the trial's courtroom. She has been barred from voting on her husband's fate.

State Rep. Jeff Leach, who has said he considered himself a good friend of Paxton, offered words of courage for the jury, urging a conviction. Leach is from North Texas.

"This will, if you're like me, be the hardest, the most difficult, the heaviest vote that you will ever cast in your time in the Legislature," Leach said, most likely talking from his own experience as one of the House members who made the case in the lower chamber to charge Paxton with offenses ranging from constitutional bribery and disregarding his official duties to firing the once-trusted aides who had warned him he was straying outside of legal bounds.

Jurors will also consider a second ruling if they vote to oust Paxton.

They may also vote to bar him from seeking other state offices. That, however, would not preclude Paxton from running for, say, Congress.

He was first elected in 2014 and later won reelection in 2018 and 2022...

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CASUAL FRIDAY:...Terrifying Fish Head Tales & Creepy Stuff Out Of Brownsville...

 

By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

BROWNSVILLE, Texas | She does have a life. Outside politics and the ever-grabbing world of the Cameron County Commissioner's Court - known far & wide for sitting members padding the Ol' paycheck at every turn. Is Precinct 2 County Commissioner Sofia Benavides really into it. I mean, at her age she likely does not need the extra cash.

What for - Christmas gifts?

That hardly-irascible Miss Sofie may not take to bagging sand every time a hurricane approaches the southern Texas Coast, but she will get out into the Golfo de Mejico and hook herself a fish or two (see cool photo above).

So, we'll fan a bit of wind her way and ask: Is the commissioner's court doing anything even half-spectacular? For the county, or for the county's poverty-stricken people? Over out this way, in the better neighborhood of the Rio Grande Valley, well, we have not heard of anything near-spectacular.

Still, this is CASUAL FRIDAY...and, well, Sofia Benavides knows a casual pose when she sees one. 2nd question: Has she drawn an opponent in her reelection effort? Yeah, we pictured another mustachioed Mexican dude in a cowboy hat. 

As for the fish: Lock him up!...

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We couldn't settle on a photo of the Intolerant Cool Capt. Bob Sanchez for this excerpt. The hat you see above did it for us. These hats should be distributed to the entire city of Brownsville population, so that - for one shining moment - they could walk and laugh as one.

Everyone elsewhere in the Rio Grande Valley knows Brownsville as the Dysfunctional City By The Sea, or something like that. El Capitan, known far & wide in his restaurant, does his best to cheer-up the local proletariat.

That podcast of his, AKA The CBS Show, is growing by yoga leaps and bounds. Maria Muldaur Ramirez, our office receptionist, loves the show to the point of insisting on a clause in her employment contract that she will be on break whenever CBS is online.

You have to appreciate all Capt. Bob does for Brownsville, does it for nothing other than cheap publicity that only aids in magnifying his local celebrity.

But he's a clever one - His guests are always lesser dudes and gals than he is. The host must be the star! Sit up straight, Erasmo! Read the intro, loca! We're told all guests must sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement (NDA) agreeing to never reveal exactly what goes into the staging of his unconquerable podcast. Trade secrets, is his mantra.

Hey, tune in and see for yourself.

Bank it: His next guest(s) will be some inferior Second Banana...

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Who be this lovely lass? Lotsa stuff swirling about town on this one. She's Deborah Bell, an apparent political newcomer out to replace the historical figure named Morgan Graham as chairman of the Cameron County Republican Party - that group of five or six always-buoyant county residents still believing the Magic Valley has room for them at the table.

Miss Bell has a shot at the Big Time.

Uh, no, not really.

We must confess to not knowing much about her, other than that she is - or has been - some sort of neighborhood political activist. But her candidacy would fit the times we're currently living, an Era Of Nincompoops who keep storming out of the rotting woodwork and rise to challenge the status quo - like brave weeds rising against a new lawnmower.

Good luck, Debbie.

And so long...

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We at The McAllen Sun have been urging former City Commissioner Ben Neece to stay away from this guy. Tony Zavaleta may look like a pleasant sort in the photo alongside his lovely wife, but he's said to be something of a mover & shaker on the Texas Southmost College's Board of Trustees.

Mover & shaker as in moving to shake up the board's makeup to his liking.

Neece, an accomplished musician, should be wary of any attention he gets from Tony Z., as he is known in social media. What God-awful plan Tony Z. may have for Neece as a replacement for current TSC Trustee J.J. DeLeon is the Big Unknown.

Play it, Ben: "Well, I started out on Burgundy, but soon hit the harder stuff. Everybody said they're right behind me when the game got rough. But the joke was on me, there was nobody to even call my bluff. I'm going back to my loft; I do believe I've had enough."...

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Wow, that didn't take long. A friend in town tells us former Mayor Juan "Trey" Mendez has already been forgotten in the gossiping halls of City Hall. He just left - like earlier this year! Poor cat.

Once upon a time The Long, Lost Love of Bloggers, he was the proverbial Savior of Brownsville, especially after the hard-ass reign of one Tony Martinez, who always looked cool doing Covid-19 interviews on CNN but then did nothing to fight the virus making residents even more stupid in town.

Trey, lad, we hardly knew ye, ese.

Little Boy Blue had risen to the top elected post in town with a can-do attitude promised by his pal Adela Garza of TSC Board presidency fame.

Then..........zzzzzzzzzzzz......nothing happened.

Mendez is still in town. Perhaps you've seen him. And maybe not.

He's old news, a has-been and a man perceived as a miserable failure as a public servant. Too bad, yes.

Mendez could've been more, a lot more.

He just likely knew that he never should've been mayor. Director of City Softball Leagues, yes.

Mayor, no...

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Any sign of those new shade-pleasing bus shelters for local bus riders? What - no, you say. Well, that tells us the guy you see in the photo above is still singing himself to sleep. That's local, Pro-Mexicans Blogger Juan Montoya, defender of all things south of the border. He's playing a variety of tunes lately, but forever on the Winding Bitching Trail for anything that will keep the blistering heat off non-complaining bus riders he doesn't even know.

Whatever. It's a cause to fight for when summer rolls around and news takes a holiday.

The former reporter for The Brownsville Herald never mentions the bus shelters when the Holiday Season comes around, which is anyday now.

We may be being a bit harsh on the Ol' Jarhead, but it's true. His fight for these shelters, yeah, needed, seems to be a seasonal thing with him. No blistering heat, No shelter needed - is that it?

Could be.

But one fine day, when he least expects it, perhaps after the fabled Tenaska Scandal is resolved, Montoya will find himself walking to his favorite cantina and then....suddenly spot a new bus shelter right there in front of him at the streetcorner!

Until then, he waits.

Juan should also know that someday sometimes never comes...

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TRIALS:...Rough Going For A.G. Wife Angela Paxton...

 

By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

AUSTIN, Texas | She's been there every day of the trial. It's not like most wives wouldn't do the same, but there is a certain sadness to Angela Paxton's loyal presence at her husband's impeachment trial. Faces don't lie, it is said of a woman's facial features when her man's in deep trouble.

Ken Paxton is about to lose his job as Texas Attorney General.

It would be easy for Mrs. Paxton, shown in photo above, to simply flake-off and stay way. She is barred from voting on her husband's fate. And, it very well could be that she also wanted to hear firsthand information Ken may have kept from her.

Especially all that stuff about sexual trysts with a woman identified earlier as Laura Olson.

Laura Olson, 50, is 10 years younger than Ken Paxton and just as many as Angela Paxton, 60. She's tall and thin. Some might even say she would cast well as a model for a mistress in some Hollywood offering. Angela Paxton looks much more conservative and wifey.

The trial is still ongoing as we post this on Thursday afternoon. The word is that it will wrap-up later today or tomorrow, with a vote on Paxton' impeachment coming over the weekend.

For now, we offer this pictorial of Angela Paxton as the trial unfolded in the Texas Senate, where she serves as a senator representing a constituency up in McKinney, a suburb of Dallas.

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She's the picture of a trusting, supportive wife in all of these photos. Much of that is to be expected. The trial is in its second and final week, but the story of her husband's legal trouble has been around for almost 10 years.

One wonders whether the pictures tell the real story of Angela Paxton's likely agonizing faithfulness...

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INDICTMENTS:..Boys, It's A Democrat This Time...Hunter Biden...

 

By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

WASHINGTON, D.C. | He's coming up to his mid-50s and now facing serious court stuff. Hunter Biden, 53, the president's son long the target of Far Right-Wing media, finally saw the indictment come down the political fallopian tube.

That came today.

This from axios.com: [ Hunter Biden was indicted on three counts related to his alleged illegal possession of a firearm, according to a court filing on Thursday.

The indictment by special counsel David Weiss comes after plea deal negotiations fell apart last month over two tax misdemeanors and a gun felony against President Biden's son.

The indictment was largely expected, as Weiss indicated earlier this month that he was seeking an indictment against Hunter Biden by the end of September.

Driving the news: The charges in the indictment include making false statements on a federal form when he purchased a firearm in 2018 and possession of a firearm while using a narcotic. ]

So the dogged pursuit panned out for Republicans looking to even the Indictment Race that has former Republican President Donald J. Trump in the lead, with four indictments.

Republicans should know that one of their own, ex-President George W. Bush, once thought so much of Hunter Biden that he named him to the AMTRAK Board of directors.

Yeah, go chug on your cheap cantina beer and guzzle that down...

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DO YOU KNOW ME? - ...Windblown Hair Is A Clue...

 

By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

SOUTH PADRE ISLAND, Texas | Name that dude. Yeah, the guy in the photo above. He's somewhat well-known in his hometown, although most Rio Grande Valley residents likely would have no idea who he is. None at all. Is he the new swim coach over at some ritzy beachfront hotel here?

No.

Could he be the owner of a happening bar only a Cuba Libre this side of the Laguna Madre?

No.

Is he some fishing guide able to land you a snook or two?

No.

Well, then, who the Hell is this bearded dude?

Why, Jimmy Boy, that's Patrick McNulty, the mayor of sand-eating South Padre Island and the public servant with perhaps the lowest name-recognition in the magic valley. Does SPI consider itself part of the Big Time Hispanic RGV?

Well, you could certainly wonder about that - there is not one Hispanic on its City Council, so who knows about that?

Not that most people here would care to go there. That sun & fun has a way with moods and feelings.

South Padre Island is, after all, an island.

We'll catch up with McNulty for some real news one of these days. Until then, we will keep searching for the Most Obscure Mayor in the whole, gosh-darned Valley...

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TRIALS:...No Testimony From The Babe In Paxton Scandal...

 

By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

AUSTIN, Texas | They never called her to the witness stand. So much for salacious stuff in that pretty-much-done impeachment of Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton. The Republican Show Trial should be done after today, with a vote before or during the weekend.

Yeah, Texas will host the Wyoming Cowboys at Darrell K. Royal Stadium somewhat nearby on Saturday, but the score in the Texas Senate on this vote should be interesting.

Paxton, the 60-year-old Playboy AG, could be out of a job and out of any possible future candidacies for other state offices.

They say he sold the office to developer Nate Paul, a shadowy figure in the story, one who trial testimony said was cool with the AG, to the point of doing him untold (expensive) favors in exchange for using the AG's office to "investigate" his enemies. The tale calls for those dudes who produced the TV series Perry Mason to storm out of their graves and offer us a new episode.

Paxton's trial resumes this morning.

What might've been a sort of climax (at least to that point) quickly fizzled on Wednesday, when the Babe in the story did not testify. Sexy Laura Olson, shown in photo above waiting to be called) was fingered as the woman Paxton romanced and likely laid (who knows on that, really?) while still married (to State Sen. Angela Paxton, shown with purse in photo above). We say that every political scandal with a woman sorta/kinda central to the mess needs to offer-up that woman's thoughts. Laura Olson has the experience and vocabulary; she's been married and divorced four times.

I know what Rick Perry would say about that: "Bring it."

As we wrote the other day, Paxton's fate was sealed long-ago, when the Texas House voted to go zip his pants. He'll be impeached and removed from office.

We're going with Vegas in saying the Horns will whip Wyoming on the football field this weekend and the Texas Senate will undress Kenny Paxton in the people's court.

You read it here first, you ever-weary you...

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NATIONAL AFFAIRS:...Mitt Romney Calls It Quits, MAGA Rejoices...

 

By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

McALLEN, Texas | They might just be leaving one by one - those old-line, non-MAGA Republicans from the party of Ronald Reagan. Mitt Romney isn't leaving just yet, but he has announced plans to leave the U.S. Senate and retire after his term ends in January 2025.

His pal, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, may beat him out of Washington, D.C. The 81-year-old McConnell's health has not been good lately. Two episodes of "freezing at the microphone" during news conferences point to serious physical problems for the senior senator from Kentucky.

Their other friend in the senate, John McCain of Arizona, died in 2018.

Those are only three, but brave Republicans willing to take-on MAGA foghorn Donald J. Trump are not common in current national politics. Candidates opposing him for the party's 2024 presidential nomination may rant and rave about him, but that's elections politics.

Romney, McConnell and McCain had the party at heart; Trump does not. Neither do his followers, who further separate themselves by being angry, boisterous and threatening violence.

That is not Romney and McConnell, nor was it McCain.

This excerpt from an article at thehill.com: [ Romney highlighted his age (77) as he announced his decision. "I’ve spent my last 25 years in public service of one kind or another. At the end of another term, I’d be in my mid-80s," Romney said.

"Frankly, it’s time for a new generation of leaders," he went on. "They’re the ones that need to make the decisions that will shape the world they will be living in."

Whether intentional or not, those remarks drew an implicit contrast with some of Romney’s even older colleagues, including 81-year-old Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and 90-year-old Sen. Dianne Feinstein, a Democrat from California.

Both have suffered recent public health scares that have raised concerns about whether they are able to perform their duties.

Romney was elected to the Senate in 2018, a return to elected office for the former governor of Massachusetts who mounted a failed bid to unseat then-President Barack Obama in 2012.

In Congress, Romney distinguished himself as one of Donald Trump’s few outspoken Republican critics. He was the only Republican to vote to convict Trump following his first impeachment trial in early 2020, a decision that drew a scornful response from Trump and his allies.

Romney joined six other Republican senators in 2021 who voted to convict Trump following his second impeachment for allegedly inciting the Jan. 6 Capitol insurrection. ]

And as could be expected, Trump, 77, tore into Romney in an all-caps social media post celebrating his decision to retire as "fantastic news for America."

You get the distinct impression that MAGA Republicans want lifelong party stalwarts like Romney and McConnell to either die or fade from the political scene.

It's a loss for civilized America, but there you are...

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IOWA:...Not All Republicans In Hawkeye State Ready To Enthrone Trump...

 

By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

DES MOINES, Iowa | What with all the noise coming out of this midwestern state, you'd think that all of Iowa's Republicans would be giddily aboard the rolling Trump train. They may ultimately select him as their party's presidential nominee in the upcoming 2024 election, only some are not quite ready to coronate him.

The Hawkeye State, known as The Food Capital of The World, isn't quite pleased with the political plate Trump has served its 3,193,000 residents.

Trump, they say, has come and gone as if some sad-shy Manhattan cabbie new to The Big Apple. And when he has been in Iowa, the former president, they add, has talked mostly about the 2020 election he says was rigged and not said much about what he would do for the country if elected president again.

It's a clash with what some of the mainstream reporting coming out of Iowa. There, reports have it that Donald Trump is way ahead of the fat Republican field, ahead by a massive lead over his closest rivals, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis and newcomer businessman Vivek Ramaswamy.

We went looking for some of the discontent.

This from a guest column in the Des Moines Register, the state's preeminent newspaper: [ With the first Republican presidential debate in the rearview mirror, people here in Iowa have a clearer idea on where the candidates asking us to caucus for them stand on the issues that matter for our state. Nearly every Republican presidential contender attended the debate to talk about their platform and argue why they’re the best person to beat President Joe Biden in 2024 - with one major exception. 

Similar to many other times, former President Donald Trump didn’t bother to show up. In fact, Iowans haven’t seen much of the former president since he declared his candidacy for the 2024 presidential election. He’s visited Iowa just three times as of Sept. 7, trips where he spent more time talking about personal grievances than his policy platform. 

Ahead of the 2024 presidential election, that’s the key difference between the version of Donald Trump that Iowans voted to send to the White House in 2016 and the former president who’s asking for our votes again. This time, he’s not fighting for Iowans or working to deliver policy wins. Instead, he’s fighting for himself. 

And that’s not what voters here in Iowa want in our next president. ]

The writer goes on to note that Trump did accomplish much as president. He appointed three conservative Supreme Court justices and "stemmed the flow of illegal immigration across our southern border." Oh, and he goes to add that the "United States produced more energy than it consumed with the help of the ethanol industry here in Iowa." 

That, however, clashes with Trump's failure to say how he would fix problems Biden has created in his first term.

It'll be much of the same for the rest of the year (fans at a rivalry game between Iowa and Iowa State last Saturday shot Trump the finger when he waltzed into the stadium in Ames), and that will continue until January 15, 2024, when Iowa holds its version of the primary - the fabled Iowa Caucuses.

That's the important target date for his opponents, but Trump would be wise to keep planting positive seeds for the farmers and other residents, 'cause he's alienated more than a few.

It says here that he will likely win the caucus vote, only it's not as if every Iowa Republican has been all-in, all-the-time on his candidacy.

You don't hear much of that from the national news media out of Iowa...

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POLLS:...Wall Street Journal's Latest...Trump Paid For It...

 

By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ

McALLEN, Texas | Political polls have been and continue to be some sort of credible weathervane for candidate campaigns, especially in presidential races. They're always suspect, but, well, there they are. Broadcast and print news media outlets take them and run with the announced results.

But they also lie.

Take the one released this week by the Wall Street Journal (owned by FOX's Rupert Murdoch). It released poll numbers after conducting a survey that said President Joe Biden and Republican Donald J., Trump were tied when voters across the country were polled as to who they favored.

What the Wall Street Journal never said was that Trump had paid for the poll.

So much for that poll.

But it happens more often than not, and what Americans don't know is that these pollsters often survey a miniscule number of people, respondents in the low-hundreds not rare at all. That small of a looksee is really useless, but they keep doing it and the press keeps reporting results as if a huge number of voters had been asked the question.

This from newrepublic.com: [ A recent Wall Street Journal poll announced that most voters think Joe Biden is too old to be president for a second term - and a 2024 matchup between Biden and Donald Trump would be evenly split. The poll has since been covered across multiple mainstream media outlets, including MSNBC, CNN, and Fox.

There’s just one problem: The poll was conducted in part by Trump’s former campaign pollster.

The poll, which was published Monday, found that Biden and Trump are tied with 46 percent support each. It has garnered widespread media attention and outrage. MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough pointed out that Trump has been indicted four times and lied many, many more times, and yet he is tied with Biden simply because the latter is just three years older.

What the Journal does not mention anywhere is that Republican pollster Tony Fabrizio also worked as the chief pollster on Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign. And since the start of 2023, Trump’s super PAC, Make America Great Again Inc., has paid Fabrizio’s company more than $567,000, according to FEC filings. ]

Candidate paying for good publicity is nothing new. it happens at a much-smaller scale here in the Rio Grande Valley, especially in Brownsville, where bloggers often take sides in political contests for pay.

But the polling is part & parcel of our national politics.

Polls have been around seemingly forever in presidential races. And, yes, the results always depend on who is doing the poll and who is paying for it to be done.

Trump paying for this one is no surprise.

And he did get a nice big bang for his bucks, as pretty much every news outlet reported the favorable result he paid for...

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